Cold Wars (with your spouse)

[ahkeong]

Imami:

Ahkeong, before this episode, is there any other incident? My guess is - she was already pissed with you before this incident.

maybe lo.. but the main problem is, we are not even talking much nowadays, so even if there was something she is not happy with, it wasnt voiced out

3Boys:

Sorry to say, but you have the completely WRONG attitude.

That woman is not some ordinary friend or some work colleague.

She is someone you married, go to bed with and bore you children.

You owe her some respect. If your communication situation is bad, your response CANNOT be \"Sianz 1/2\", it needs to be \"Oh Boy! How do I turn this around?\"

You can blow me off in this forum if I nag at you, because you don't know me from Adam and you don't owe me anything.

But you can't do that to your WIFE, for pete's sake!

most of the time, its wake up, send kids to school, send her to work.. den work.. after of which, pick up the kids, come home, do some housework and revise schoolwork, sleep..

simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all..

[sleepy]

ahkeong:

simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all..

Take a date night out to talk. Over dinner when she's more relaxed, she may be more willing to confide & share her woes. Be a good listener, don't be so quick to defend yourself. Try to see from her point of view

[sunlight7]

sleepy:

ahkeong:

simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all..

Take a date night out to talk. Over dinner when she's more relaxed, she may be more willing to confide & share her woes. Be a good listener, don't be so quick to defend yourself. Try to see from her point of view

This is what I do when I am very very upset with my wife (may not work for others) - I think back to the moment when I first laid eyes on her, to those times when I was wooing her , to the sweet courtship days and usually by then.......I would have the reasons why I love this woman and no other.

Nowadays , we designate a mandatory evening out for just the 2 of us - no kids. It can be any day/evening but one day a week is a MUST, unless either one of us are traveling for work.

Hope this helps.

[octoberbaby]

cold wars for what reason so serious even ignoring each other for 1 month? how to live in the same roof?


Finance problem? unemployment? another woman?

I know a friend, she is a housewife. Her mother will ask for money all the time. Who else my friend asked the money from? her poor husband?

[dun_waste_time]

sunlight7:

Best to settle everything before going to bed.

I am in fear of cold war, its so awkward and chilly, its no fun for everyone - the parents and the kid(s). :hugs:

Sometimes, when in the heat of an argument, it's really really difficult to think, or let alone do things correctly and properly. When we have an argument, i would usually try to understand from her point of view.

But there is only so much from her view i can cover. Then the cold war starts. Thankfully most of the time, we would end up talking the next morning, cause i send her to work.

However, i also make sure to listen before defending myself. Take it as, you would have a higher chance to win the war only if you know the stats. I'm not telling you to prepare ammo while listening, but listen first. If you are sure she is not right, then ask her to listen.

And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Seriously, the most sickening thing in an argument i have experienced (between my buddy and his wife) is when he ask her what's wrong and she replies, \"you should know :slapshead: :slapshead: \"... Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...

hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha

[sleepy]

dun_waste_time:

And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...

hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha

Yes totally agreed with these 2 points :rotflmao:

[3Boys]

ahkeong:

most of the time, its wake up, send kids to school, send her to work.. den work.. after of which, pick up the kids, come home, do some housework and revise schoolwork, sleep..

simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all..

You MUST make some alone time. Your kids won't suffer for a little less attention once in a while, they WILL suffer if your marriage falls apart.

[octoberbaby]

When I see a young couple gets married, this is the beginning of MARRIAGE

[sunlight7]

3Boys:

ahkeong:

most of the time, its wake up, send kids to school, send her to work.. den work.. after of which, pick up the kids, come home, do some housework and revise schoolwork, sleep..

simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all..

You MUST make some alone time. Your kids won't suffer for a little less attention once in a while, they WILL suffer if your marriage falls apart.

Well said ..... :rahrah:

[kids_r_innocent]

sleepy:

dun_waste_time:

And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...

hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha

Yes totally agreed with these 2 points :rotflmao:

Haha... I also agree :hi5: men really cannot understand wat we are thinking or even at times, if we drop hints to them, they will still be blur blur. So I have learned to SPEAK out to my hb when tings get out of hand.