Cold Wars (with your spouse)
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sunlight7:
Sometimes, when in the heat of an argument, it's really really difficult to think, or let alone do things correctly and properly. When we have an argument, i would usually try to understand from her point of view.Best to settle everything before going to bed.
I am in fear of cold war, its so awkward and chilly, its no fun for everyone - the parents and the kid(s). :hugs:
But there is only so much from her view i can cover. Then the cold war starts. Thankfully most of the time, we would end up talking the next morning, cause i send her to work.
However, i also make sure to listen before defending myself. Take it as, you would have a higher chance to win the war only if you know the stats. I'm not telling you to prepare ammo while listening, but listen first. If you are sure she is not right, then ask her to listen.
And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Seriously, the most sickening thing in an argument i have experienced (between my buddy and his wife) is when he ask her what's wrong and she replies, \"you should know :slapshead: :slapshead: \"... Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...
hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha -
dun_waste_time:
Yes totally agreed with these 2 points :rotflmao:
And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...
hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha -
ahkeong:
You MUST make some alone time. Your kids won't suffer for a little less attention once in a while, they WILL suffer if your marriage falls apart.
most of the time, its wake up, send kids to school, send her to work.. den work.. after of which, pick up the kids, come home, do some housework and revise schoolwork, sleep..
simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all.. -
When I see a young couple gets married, this is the beginning of MARRIAGE
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3Boys:
Well said ..... :rahrah:
You MUST make some alone time. Your kids won't suffer for a little less attention once in a while, they WILL suffer if your marriage falls apart.ahkeong:
most of the time, its wake up, send kids to school, send her to work.. den work.. after of which, pick up the kids, come home, do some housework and revise schoolwork, sleep..
simply no time to sit down and trash things out at all.. -
sleepy:
Haha... I also agree :hi5: men really cannot understand wat we are thinking or even at times, if we drop hints to them, they will still be blur blur. So I have learned to SPEAK out to my hb when tings get out of hand.
Yes totally agreed with these 2 points :rotflmao:dun_waste_time:
And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...
hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha -
sleepy:
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Yes totally agreed with these 2 points :rotflmao:dun_waste_time:
And to all the wives here, please speak up too. Men CANNOT and NEVER understand what you are thinking. Please be specific... Men are really bad at this, we don't know, we really don't (at least 60-80% of the time)...
hahaha and if we don't know what's wrong, we can still go to bed snoring, but women will be kept awake wondering why the husband is not responding... hahaha -
A quote that i saw and showed DH
" When i apologise, it’s not because I believe I’m wrong, it’s because I value our relationship more "
This is something that i live by. -
actually i don’t mind to apologise if i am in wrong. My dh is the one who apologised more often coz he knew he was in wrong(he raised his voice most of the times).
but now,he is beta control of his temper knowing that it will influence the kiddo.
Anyway,we always so busy until no time to quarrel coz no time to talk -
vinegar:
Anyway,we always so busy until no time to quarrel coz no time to talk
My cold war with hubby has ended. I started the pillow talk before he falls asleep. It is the only time I get his full attention. A few nights of pillow talk cleared up many issues.
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