No Problem is problem

[buds]

autumnbronze:

I wonder what the thread title should be :?


:idea: The ART of teh-ing

3Boys' tried and tested and (WORKED!) manual. :idea:
\"How to wrap your husband round your pinkies...
and everywhere else that matters..\" :evil:

autumnbronze:

3boys, you have another potential pupil here ... I'm game to spruce up my teh-ing skills (I'm serious) ....

I wasn't kidding either.. in fact was anxiously waiting.
To the point of shamelessly telling him I WANT U TO SHARE! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Instead of asking politely.. :oops:

autumnbronze:

Willing to try harder to make DH happier. Because of his understanding, I am able to enjoy the role of being a SAHM ..... :love:

Me too, autumnbronze... me too... :snuggles:

Quoting jedamum, guess being SAHM we have more energy. :laugh:

Come to think of it, may not be just energy after all the errands and
running around after the children.. their homework.. what nots.. :roll:
.. but more so must have more effort & definitely more heart oso.

Cher! Cher ah! Where are you? Yoo hoo... 3Boys! :lol:
Or rather Professor Teh... come out come out wherever you are.
Unless you prefer Prof Manja? :idea:

[buds]

Funz:

What is this thing about wifey and children running to the door the welcome you home? Need to fetch you your slippers and pour you a drink as well? That happens in reel family, not real family.

:lol: Actually, no need so dramatic. As in no need to run and fall over. :lol:
Walk to the door can oredi. :lol: I don't fetch slippers for hubs but i do ask
if he wants a drink and will pour for him and sit with him cos usually, in my
case... i try to have the table set for dinner by the time he gets back from
work with piping hot dishes... i have sensed he likes that. We'll all
eat together as a family and share about our day. And nooo... mine is
definitely not reel family... though most of the drama was from MIL. :lol:

Things are waaayyyy better now than 10 years ago, that's for sure. I do
have hubs to be grateful to for finally getting us out of there... Being an
extremely filial son, it must've been difficult for him... esp when he hears
of stories of how they're treated at his sibling's place now. Well, every
story has to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Make it pinches of salt in my ILs case. :lol:

Funz:

And he wants me to show appreciation to him for his effort in coming home to have dinner with us. For this, I just stared bug eyed at him. I am suppose to say thank you for THAT?!?!?!?

I have friends whose husbands never seem to BE at the dinner table at
all... or even be home by the time they go to bed. These friends are
that their husbands are not making effort to come home (cos sometimes
out entertaining with clients or having drinks and supper with friends) &
just be around the family... They say if their husbands do not need to do
the school run in the mornings, the children may never get to see them
at all.

I suppose the appreciation is simply being there.. :hugs: No words needed.
For some things, actions do speak louder than words.

Like a loud belch after a meal perhaps... could show how much husbands
enjoyed their dinner? Instead of a thank you... dinner was wonderful? :lol:

For me... i get the BUUUURRRP and the thanks for a delicious dinner & :hugs: too.
It feels good. Feels that my afternoon in the steaming sauna (kitchen) came
to a good welcome home ending for the day... and such appreciative gestures
do motivate me to continue with the routine as much as i can. The plus is he
helps out with the dishes and sometimes we hear him whistling or humming
a tune whilst doing so too.. :lol: DD2 once whispered to me... \"Daddy sure
loves
washing dishes aye mom? :evil: Then, she'd give me that nottie look and nudge. :lol:
He's also sensitive enough to tell me on off days, \"Don't sweat out in the
kitchen today ok? Let's go out have dinner with the girls...\" :love:

jedamum:

i don't fetch slippers for my dh.
but i am expected to go to the door to greet him when he gets home.
earlier days when i did not, it led to much black-faced from my husband.

At least you knew / realized the point of when you were \"expected\" to do so...

jedamum:

after the anger had subsided, dh explained.

You're fortunate your DH takes the time or rather bothers to explain.
Most men i suppose... don't.

jedamum:

.......lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not?

I agree with this. We talked a lot while in the midst of repairing our marriage
and like your DH, mine shared the same. I mistook his foul mood
for \"GO AWAY\" or \"Everyone outta my sight and toes!\".... hence the earlier
lack-of-response reaction... so i say... men cannot do codes with us... cos
sometimes we just don't get it... say what you mean and mean what you
say... (when you're not so moody & angry of course...:lol:)... so these days
when he does have a bad day, he does send smses that go like these...
\"Sianz.. havin a bad day at work.....\" or \"Thinking of you and the girls
right now... how i wish i can be home with you girls.\"

Ahhhh des.... be clear lest you be misunderstood ya noe? :lol:
Aniwaes, he did mention before... that as much as women like to think men
do not listen... we (women) sometimes fail to \"listen\" as well. :roll: I told
him, that doesn't count it. That listening we're \"expected\" to do is actually
to \"read between the lines\".... :roll:

[autumnbronze]

buds:

autumnbronze:

I wonder what the thread title should be :?


:idea: The ART of teh-ing

3Boys' tried and tested and (WORKED!) manual. :idea:
\"How to wrap your husband round your pinkies...
and everywhere else that matters..\" :evil:

Ahhhhh yes, yes, much better

buds:

autumnbronze:

Willing to try harder to make DH happier. Because of his understanding, I am able to enjoy the role of being a SAHM ..... :love:

Me too, autumnbronze... me too... :snuggles:

:hugs:

buds:

Quoting jedamum, guess being SAHM we have more energy. :laugh:

Come to think of it, may not be just energy after all the errands and
running around after the children.. their homework.. what nots.. :roll:
.. but more so must have more effort & definitely more heart oso.

Agree, :hi5: and :celebrate:

[Angelight]

This topic on 'teh-ing' and showing appreciation is getting more and more interesting that I have to log on everyday to read.


Being a SAHM, DH will kiss and hug me and DD before he leaves for work, and also receives kisses and hugs from his '2 girls' who would see him off at the door.

When he comes home in the evening, he never fails to give a loud cheery \"Honey, I'm home!\" unless on days when he has an extremely bad or tired day. DD will usually greet him at the door; for me, it depends what I'm busy with at that moment.

At dinner time, DH always thanks me for the home cooked dinner. And lately, he has been thanking me for \"giving him DD\" :love:

I show my love in more practical ways like replenishing his shampoo and shower gel; getting his work shirts and tie ready in the morning; and leaving him love notes once in a while.

Actually, come to think of it, these gestures of teh-ing and showing appreciation all boils down to the languages of love, which is very important to keep a marriage alive and strong.

[Funz]

buds:

Funz:

And he wants me to show appreciation to him for his effort in coming home to have dinner with us. For this, I just stared bug eyed at him. I am suppose to say thank you for THAT?!?!?!?

I have friends whose husbands never seem to BE at the dinner table at
all... or even be home by the time they go to bed. These friends are
that their husbands are not making effort to come home (cos sometimes
out entertaining with clients or having drinks and supper with friends) &
just be around the family... They say if their husbands do not need to do
the school run in the mornings, the children may never get to see them
at all.

I suppose the appreciation is simply being there.. :hugs: No words needed.
For some things, actions do speak louder than words.

I guess for years I have been in the same position as those friends of yours. When we were first married, I came home to an empty house and go to bed on my own practically every night. When preggy with DD, I would rather roam orchard road till midnight rather then come home to an empty house. That says a lot for one who hates crowd and finds shopping a chore. We quarrelled incessantly about his late nights. I will call and ask him if he will be back for dinner, he will say yes but I will be waiting until as late as 10pm and he is not back. And when I call again he will sound totally harrassed. Eventually in our some of our many quarrels, he said that he feels stressed about this dinner thing. Cos when I call asking him, he does not want to tell me no so he says yes but when he finds himself caught up with whatever engagement he has and when I call he gets defensive and thus lash out at me. Eventually I stopped calling or asking him if he will be home for dinner, I made my own dinner plans.

So, now he wants me to thank him for coming home for dinner... well you can see, never ever gonna happen.

Greeting him at the door? That is more likely to happen. As it is we are heading to the airport later to pick him up. See, above and beyond, I am not waiting for him to come home, I am going to the doorstep of Singapore to greet him. Guess he did get himself a dog afterall.

Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

[autumnbronze]

Funz:

Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

Hey Funz,

From your postings, you are one strong and determined babe :ugogirl:

Hang in there ...

All the best :hugs: :hugs:

ps: Not sure if you saw my posting of list of counsellors/life coaches for you in the thread under Health. If you are still looking for one, then its on pg 6

[Sun_2010]

Funz:

I am going to the doorstep of Singapore to greet him. Guess he did get himself a dog afterall.


Haiz. so many issues to resolve.

Now now the air port is a public place so dont go licking n yapping

But seriously jedamum's sharing was kinda eye opener. Not that dh expects me to be there , atleast he hasnt told me, still i feel guilty for not doing it.

Jedamum :salute: to you

[duriz]

Sun_2010:

Now now the air port is a public place so dont go licking n yapping

Now won't that be a sight for sore eyes?
REEL life indeed

[DesertWind]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

Woa...haa...haa..! 3boys scared to post in KSP? :nailbite:

That must be a first! Surely kuddos to us ladies here! :rahrah:

But don't be intimidated by us here, it does not befits your reputation.

So by all means share your teh-ing skills here - we promise not to put you on the rotary board and hold our darts.

I DARE YOU TO!
:cheeky:

[DesertWind]

autumnbronze:

I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

Oh... we all take our own parents for granted one way or the other autumnbronze!