In-law problems?
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vinegar:
[/quote]When she want to be nasty to me, she will add 'needle into her words' or indirectly criticise u in front of others.
They'll nvr acknowledge ur efforts.To me,so long she doesn't add salt onto wounds(keep criticising),i happy liao.atrecord:
[quote=\"oliveoil\"]I'm also staying under the same roof as my mil. And with maid all together, it is no joke. Three women deal with a kitchen is enough to create unhappiness! So when I'm not around she will walk into the kitchen to become the 'queen'. When she is in the kitchen I will 'siam' (go off). And then my poor maid will has to deal with her...
When DH is not around, she will compliant the dishes are not enough and soup is tasteless (\"bo be gao suo\" in hokkien). She will reject the soup we serve her, or sometimes walk up and go and cook another dish of her choice at dinner time. When DH is around, she will say the other way \"can eat, anything will do\".
And she ever said my kids ”没家教“ (no home education) just bcos they never acknowledge her once. Of course it was in front of me and not her son.
If this happens to me, i'll tell her they carry ur genes
Mid last year, my maids went moonlighting one after after and I left with no maid for more than two months. My DS had surgery (long recovering with few weeks of MC leading to PSLE!) and my three kids were in PSLE (i have a triplet). I worked half day in the morning, rush back by noon, do all the chores, cook and attend to my kids for their PSLE preparation & exam. My mil still came and compliant about those maids that had left. I told mil 'I was tired' during these few months and suggested she stop talking abt the same issue and thinking to have her empathy. Her replied was \"你顾孩子辛苦是应该的!\". Her remark really \"piss me off\"...ever since then, I will do anything myself without her help if possible.
I sympathise with you.
Actually it's not difficult to realise that most old people will want to impose their views on the younger ones and in the process create tension. In all likelihood as they age somemore they will find more fault with those around them. I see that happening to my grandmother, and hear the same from colleagues and friends...
I just hope that i will not end up doing the same thing when I'm old...
That event I mentioned above with her harsh remark, I felt tt is like add salt into my wound...unforgettable! -
oliveoil:
:hugs: 都过去了。 objectively, do u think your mil is plain nasty to you or just insensitive?I'm also staying under the same roof as my mil. And with maid all together, it is no joke. Three women deal with a kitchen is enough to create unhappiness! So when I'm not around she will walk into the kitchen to become the 'queen'. When she is in the kitchen I will 'siam' (go off). And then my poor maid will has to deal with her...
When DH is not around, she will compliant the dishes are not enough and soup is tasteless (\"bo be gao suo\" in hokkien). She will reject the soup we serve her, or sometimes walk up and go and cook another dish of her choice at dinner time. When DH is around, she will say the other way \"can eat, anything will do\".
And she ever said my kids ”没家教“ (no home education) just bcos they never acknowledge her once. Of course it was in front of me and not her son.
Mid last year, my maids went moonlighting one after after and I left with no maid for more than two months. My DS had surgery (long recovering with few weeks of MC leading to PSLE!) and my three kids were in PSLE (i have a triplet). I worked half day in the morning, rush back by noon, do all the chores, cook and attend to my kids for their PSLE preparation & exam. My mil still came and compliant about those maids that had left. I told mil 'I was tired' during these few months and suggested she stop talking abt the same issue and thinking to have her empathy. Her replied was \"你顾孩子辛苦是应该的!\". Her remark really \"piss me off\"...ever since then, I will do anything myself without her help if possible.
I always feel it this way - as dil, we should love/treat/serve them as if they are our mothers BUT cannot expect them to be as nice as our own mother. -
buds:
hey, read your post and tears came to my eyes. Won't say that I understand since i did not go thru but i know what it is like with horrible ILs and the ''my house your house\" thing. hope things are better now for you. :hugs:This thread holds many memories for me...
Both good and bad.
Bad; because this was where I store all the hurt.. the emotional roller coaster.. the pain.. the aches of having lived and beared every single wasted second of my life X ten long :censored: years.
Which was why I try not to come in here after I was determined to start anew.
Good; because here was where I found strength to carry on with the hurtful and hateful life I had succumbed myself to live in/with because of the many many many cyber friends I had here... to which many of whom I am still friends with in real life (outside forum) till today. Thanks to ALL of you, I went into battle for my \"last fight\" (for my marriage) pretty much prepared be it emotionally or physically, back then.
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=121433#p121433
I will NEVER forget ALL of you, ever. :grphug:
Tonight, I'm just kinda back here to ease the hurt I'm feeling in my heart because somehow I know it is here where my friends know me best. The friendships I forged began here...
You know who you are. All of u... -
buds:
EXACTLY :celebrate:Sorry, me got nothing nice to say about MIL or the other members of the ILs. AT ALL. :mad:
In my more than a decade of experience with the ILs, it never pays to be nice. I never went all out to make them feel at home or intentionally be a good DIL just because i feel that i had to. I am just being myself and i am nice. Too nice mebbe. So ppl take advantage. I treat them like family. They in turn treat me like their freaking doormat. The ILs emotionally abused me every other day and will splash loads of fuel if there's just a little spark with hubs. I have too much respect for the elders to ever blow my top and also because i like to think that i am raised better than stooping to their level. It is also naive to think that just because one tries or one is a nice DIL, the MIL will treat one like a daughter. That's just a load of :censored:... A son will forever be a son, whether or not they do things right. A mother will never side anyone other than her own family, especially a son!
The only time i may just go on a massive trigger-happy-shoot-off is when my mountains erupt. More than a decade of bottled-up unhappiness can make anyone's mountains go off. I sure as heck cannot promise i am nice when that happens.
But i know i won't have a single nice thing to say. AT ALL. :mad:
Sorry, when i come into this thread my mountains shake a little every time.. can't help it. -
oliveoil:
i encountered that many times....immune liao...her fav hobby is to put other ppl down.If that makes her feel beta, that's fine for me.I just swallow my pride n smile.
When she want to be nasty to me, she will add 'needle into her words' or indirectly criticise u in front of others.
That event I mentioned above with her harsh remark, I felt tt is like add salt into my wound...unforgettable!
once she hinted me my dh has bad taste on everything..(including choosing a wife)...then i said he carries ur husband's genes. :rahrah: :boogie: :roll: -
vinegar:
:rotflmao: I am quite sure your mil keeps quiet for a while after this.
once she hinted me my dh has bad taste on everything..(including choosing a wife)...then i said he carries ur husband's genes. :rahrah: :boogie: :roll: -
Imami:
:rotflmao: haha that's a good one... wonder if she felt the \"needle\" flying back \"ouch\"!
:rotflmao: I am quite sure your mil keeps quiet for a while after this.vinegar:
once she hinted me my dh has bad taste on everything..(including choosing a wife)...then i said he carries ur husband's genes. :rahrah: :boogie: :roll:
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Wah ScaredyMum, sharp leh... eh, you not scared here arh?
I never once rebuked my ILs in that manner or used such words before. Not even when they were mean beyond words. -
buds:
That was vinegar lah!Wah ScaredyMum, sharp leh... eh, you not scared here arh?
I never once rebuked my ILs in that manner or used such words before. Not even when they were mean beyond words. -
ScaredyMum:
... wonder if she felt the \"needle\" flying back \"ouch\"!
Nebbermind, I was referring to this. :evil:
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