Changes In Children
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Bear.w.me:
Not sure about the NY hostel, but I know that boys can choose to stay at RI and ACS(I) hostel if there are vacancies, even if they are not from the school. If that's really the environment you desire for the girls, why don't you give them a call and check it out?
Should there be hostel option for parents to send their teen children similar to JC or University. Afterall, MOE brought down the syllabus to primary (GEP) and IP. Why not replicate the environment as well? Will it toughen our young ones this way? -
mummy of 2:
Must say it's really a challenge, fighting to stay cool when I just want to blow my top sometimes :x
Glad to find this thread.....staying cool when your inside is \"exploding\" is a big feat ! My hair is growing whiter by the day having to deal with answer back and I hate you forever kind of outburst. How do you guys deal it when dd say \"i hate you\" in her moment of anger. Do you ignore the remark and walk away or you confront it? I tell her \"i don't get bothered with such remarks\" and walk away...but i wonder whether that is the right way of dealing with it... -
westmom:
Ha ha, I hardly get that. But when I do, I'll normally cool down and say in a pathetic way, \"Why? But I love you very much!\" This is always met with silence....mummy of 2:
Must say it's really a challenge, fighting to stay cool when I just want to blow my top sometimes :x
Glad to find this thread.....staying cool when your inside is \"exploding\" is a big feat ! My hair is growing whiter by the day having to deal with answer back and I hate you forever kind of outburst. How do you guys deal it when dd say \"i hate you\" in her moment of anger. Do you ignore the remark and walk away or you confront it? I tell her \"i don't get bothered with such remarks\" and walk away...but i wonder whether that is the right way of dealing with it... -
Since I am representing the daddy here, I do not get 'I hate you' so far. Could it be that mum nags more than daddy?
I like the reaction suggested by 2ppaamm though.
My eyes always dampened when my mum used to sing '世上只有妈妈好...' to me.
here go the softer side in me. -
2ppaamm:
I will do it if my girl goes to University one day but not now. I brought it up to gauge if any forumer having the same thought. Moreover, I find that people from Chinese stream like Ms. Lai and other PRC scholars from non English speaking background can adapt to Singapore education system very well. So English is not really that hard as far as exam is concern, right?
If that's really the environment you desire for the girls, why don't you give them a call and check it out? -
Bear.w.me:
When your kids go to university, the university will have its own hostels. The NYGH hostel is for Pre-U and below only, I think. I've never inquired. By the way, I will never send my children to hostels. I like to have interaction with them and be close to them. Very sayang to let them stay in hostel, influencing their lives is more important to me. As for those life skills, I try to inculcate them at home, e.g. get them to do laundry, cook, clean up the rooms and even sew. The girls are doing it well, the boys need more training.
I will do it if my girl goes to University one day but not now. I brought it up to gauge if any forumer having the same thought. Moreover, I find that people from Chinese stream like Ms. Lai and other PRC scholars from non English speaking background can adapt to Singapore education system very well. So English is not really that hard as far as exam is concern, right?2ppaamm:
If that's really the environment you desire for the girls, why don't you give them a call and check it out?
To me, Chinese was easier than English. To my children English was much easier, I guess it boils down to exposure and environment when it comes to languages... -
Bear.w.me:
Bear.w.me, like you say, there are too many factors that shape a person. The hostel experience is one of them, but as you've pointed out, it's only one of them. Taking the examples of some of my overseas friends (not just US; any country bigger than Singapore will typically require the student to relocate to the university), high school years are traumatic for both parents and teens (maybe more for parents!), but this is the time for shaping them to guard against negative peer influences so that when they do go off to live in college dorms, they're buffered to a certain extent.Hardship does build character. What about emotional support when she feels down? Of course nowadays there are Skype, MSN and Facebook so distance is no longer a barrier in communication.
However, I think environment factors (in this case hostel) may shape the behaviour similar to boarding school. The environment will influence their behaviour for better time management (maybe they need to perform chores like folding their own clothes, washing their own shoes, ironing etc.) and leave time for revision at the same time.
Secondary school is the time most parents need to learn to let go of their child/children. Some how easier said than done especially when we are under the same roof.
Should there be hostel option for parents to send their teen children similar to JC or University. Afterall, MOE brought down the syllabus to primary (GEP) and IP. Why not replicate the environment as well? Will it toughen our young ones this way?
Maybe I'm saying this because I can't bear to part with my son for a long time yet (ok, ask me when he's 13). To be fair, I have some friends who went off to boarding school from 9 and 13 - the outcome has actually been rather positive. Most did well through to university (Oxford, Cambridge no less). My sample size might be skewed however, because there will always be some who will do well, but many others do not. -
westmom:
My psych friend will say -mummy of 2:
Must say it's really a challenge, fighting to stay cool when I just want to blow my top sometimes :x
Glad to find this thread.....staying cool when your inside is \"exploding\" is a big feat ! My hair is growing whiter by the day having to deal with answer back and I hate you forever kind of outburst. How do you guys deal it when dd say \"i hate you\" in her moment of anger. Do you ignore the remark and walk away or you confront it? I tell her \"i don't get bothered with such remarks\" and walk away...but i wonder whether that is the right way of dealing with it...
1. She knows how to get a reaction from you. Even though you say you're not bothered, your body language might say otherwise. Walking away is an action that shows you're upset. Like what 2ppaamm says, stand your ground, show you're not upset, and show your love. Tell her and yourself that words spoken in anger are not usually meant (actually, you have to convince yourself about that so that you won't get riled.)
2. It's become a habit for her. So try to find the trigger, ie, when she's frustrated. My psych friend will even say to note down the time of day, write the circumstances around it, and then read often to find a connection. Then look to resolve the trigger. It might be impracticable (like it can happen a lot!), but at least you have something to work with. Maybe this helps us to get used to it - like Daisyt says, after the 1st few times, we'll get used to it liao. That might leave us with more energy to deal with the trigger so that we can either deal with it or we work on #1. -
Ahh, there is National Service for character building as well in Singapore!
I was too skewed towards female gender in my thinking because I only have a few girls to manage.
2ppaamm wrote: [quote]To me, Chinese was easier than English. To my children English was much easier, I guess it boils down to exposure and environment when it comes to languages... [/quote]All my girls do not like Chinese Language eventhough my wife and I speak Mandarin to each other at home. Why it is so?
My own experience tells me that changing from Chinese stream to English stream is not a problem.
For Chinese Language, it emphasises vocabulary building and creativity in using the least words to convey specific meaning. English has fixed (with some exeptions) rules in grammar and tenses structure. Many of times I will end up writing long sentence to convey a simple message. -
Bear.w.me:
All my girls do not like Chinese Language eventhough my wife and I speak Mandarin to each other at home. Why it is so?Ahh, there is National Service for character building as well in Singapore!
I was too skewed towards female gender in my thinking because I only have a few girls to manage.
2ppaamm wrote: [quote]To me, Chinese was easier than English. To my children English was much easier, I guess it boils down to exposure and environment when it comes to languages...
My own experience tells me that changing from Chinese stream to English stream is not a problem.
For Chinese Language, it emphasises vocabulary building and creativity in using the least words to convey specific meaning. English has fixed (with some exeptions) rules in grammar and tenses structure. Many of times I will end up writing long sentence to convey a simple message.[/quote]I like your short and sharp way of describing the CHinese language. How true! I find the language so beautiful. English is mainly a usage language to me, convenient language. We don't speak any Mandarin at home, so my kids just detest the language. However, I remember I started loving the language only in my teenage years, and they are still young. In no time, when China picks up, they will realise what advantage knowing Mandarin can bring. I love to speak Mandarin outside Singapore. It matches my hair and skin.
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