All About Autism
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Nugget
I for one, like you, is not embarrassed by my son and I will not trade him for any healthy kid. And do I feel that people are looking down on me? No, why should I? In fact, I am grateful that I have this extraordinary journey and experience to share with others especially when I see other mothers who have ASD kids feeling lost. And my sense of achievement is greater than anything else when my son can perform beyond his teachers’ expectation. While I am not expecting others to understand what we go through because they never will, I do appreciate it if they do not jump the gun and make sweeping statements. That, I do not think is necessary and respectful. And just because we are parents of special needs kids, what we say about our kids are being labelled as defensive while parents of NT kids can do so without being labelled. Well, at the end of the day, this is a forum, everyone is entitled to say what they want and like you say, we just have to learn not to be affected by people who try to put us down. -
I don’t think I am being optimistic. My son is autistic and will always be autistic. I am realistic and accepted who is he.
Singapore is really not a place for special needs kids/adult to strive in. I don’t blame how other parents think like the way you think of us.
Our children are not so autistic enough to go into sped school,neither they are normal enough to go into mainstream. Other than pathlight which have limited seats, there is no places they can go.
And not all people can afford pathlight whose school fees are $500 per month… Hence that is why some kids are still remaining in mainstream because the school are not allowed to kick them out.
Maybe you like to find out more why these parents have let their kids remain in mainstream? -
helplessmum3:
If u are here to help ..thanks
I don't mind to share what I know and I want to learn more too. Let me go back dig out those infos to share here.
Just to share with you:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=F4XMlhCfp3Q -
ImMeeMee:
:hugs: :hugs: and more :hugs: for you ImMeeMee.I tend to believe that everything exists in a balance.
Within the community of parents with special needs children, there are those of us who recognize our child's special needs, do all we can to help our child and try our best not to do things at the expense of other people. We do not expect that the society goes all out to accomodate our special needs, and we do not abuse privileges extended to us. Then there are those who may still be in denial and refuse to believe or acknowledge that the child has learning disabilities, and insists that the child continues to function the same as like any other NT child, at the expense of the child and at the inconvenience of other people around.
Within the society at large, its the same. There are members who empathize with the situation that parents with special needs children face, and go the extra mile to help us out. There are no extra commercial gains, just kind acts coming from the heart. There are also members of the public who do not understand our situation, and judge us for what we may or may not be.
On a personal front, and being a parent of a special needs child, I say this:
To parents of special needs children, it can be tough and scary, and we may need to face certain fears that we have never faced before. At times our actions can be irrational out of fear and utmost sadness, but its good to bear in mind that we have equal responsiblity on our part towards our children and the society at large.
To society at large and for those who understand and help us, we truly appreciate your kindness from the bottom of our hearts. And for those who do not yet understand our situation, we appeal that you give us a chance and do not judge us too quickly.
And this for the rest of the moms here - :grphug: -
http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/cylsfun/428489_10151657452280429_1385611811_n1_zpsaa13c029.jpg\">
I have a soft spot for these special needs kids. My staff were initially unwilling to accept any of such kids but I told them to open their minds and hearts. And over time, these staff told me, they feel the greatest sense of achievements whenever they see any of these kids make even the slightest progress.
Every kid is special but these kids are more so. -
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/blogs/good-news/autistic-teen-may-smarter-einstein-163701084.html
Autistic teen may be smarter than Einstein
This is delicate to mashy (strongest mum) -
sembgal:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?helplessmum3:
Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges. -
happyheart:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?sembgal:
[quote=\"helplessmum3\"]Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges.[/quote]Happy heart, thanks for helping us to speak up. You totally nailed it. -
happyheart:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?sembgal:
[quote=\"helplessmum3\"]Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges.[/quote]I agree that there are normal typical children who behaves beyond the control of the teachers in the classroom. However, the strategies used to manage normal typical children and children of special needs are entirely different.
As I have mentioned, I have encountered children with special needs before and the ones who improved greatly have parents who are truly receptive of the feedbacks provided. Having to deal with defensive parents is harder than dealing with children of special needs. I empathise with special needs children. But not defensive parents.
I have shared my views in the hope that parents with special needs children, eg: ASD, can be receptive to feedbacks from others whom are working closely with your children in normal stream -
This is a recent article and have you read it?
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Neurology/Autism/37987 -
Funz:
May God bless u n your family n to your teachers n their family too.http://i1131.photobucket.com/albums/m560/cylsfun/428489_10151657452280429_1385611811_n1_zpsaa13c029.jpg\">
I have a soft spot for these special needs kids. My staff were initially unwilling to accept any of such kids but I told them to open their minds and hearts. And over time, these staff told me, they feel the greatest sense of achievements whenever they see any of these kids make even the slightest progress.
Every kid is special but these kids are more so.
Pls stay strong n healthy forever .. We need u n yr team ..
Too bad not all educators are like u -
sembgal:
This is a recent article and have you read it?
http://www.medpagetoday.com/Neurology/Autism/37987
No helping at all...
Share something that show help ..
Hey base on what the parents do or say that make u think they are not receptive ? Example pls ... -
happyheart:
Sembgal, having friends who are educators in mainstream is not the same as understanding what these mothers are facing on a daily basis. E.g I can read many books on Autism, but I may never really understand their situation and emotions. Pardon, but have your educator friends been painting biased pictures of these group of kids? Unless you are faced with the challenges yourself, I do not think your comments are very sensitive. My DS has classmates who are normal ( sorry, no offend to anyone but just to illustrate) have been consistently creating real problems for teachers and others. DS has also been a victim. Can we say just because they are not labelled special, the same behaviours give them more rights than special needs kids to be in the mainstream?sembgal:
[quote=\"helplessmum3\"]Sembal. So u are a educator ?
I would say I have friends who are educators in mainstream as well as preschools.
It is true that not all families have the means to go for special needs education, and btw who wouldn't want it if financial is not an issue. We understand you have a voice and you want it to be heard, but perhaps this is not the right thread because you are addressing parents with real kids, real challenges.[/quote]Very true -
While I was fetching my doter from her EIPIC school, a grandmother whom I know was waiting for her ASD granddaughter too.
When the kids came out of class, the grandmother handed her granddaughter a cup of cut fruits. Maybe the g’daughter was not looking or maybe she was careless, she dropped the cup of fruits on the floor.
The grandmother was greatly annoyed, and scolded the girl loudly ‘没有用,真的是没有用’. She did that a couple of times. The poor 6yo gal was equally upset and I saw her hiding her face. The EIPIC teacher was kind enough to intervene and gently asked the gal to apologize to her Ah Ma, which she did, and that ended the episode.
On my way home, I kept thinking about the girl and the impact of the g’mother’s words and actions to her. Really, I felt bad for her. Granted, old folks are old folks and the way they discipline kids and their knowledge of disciplining kids is quite different from new-age parents. Maybe it could also be that the old g’mother was frustrated or tired and could not hold her temper.
Whatever the cause, its a good reminder to parents and caregivers, whether to ASD children or otherwise, to be careful not to damage a child’s self-esteem in our interactions with them. Certain things once done cannot be undone. -
I agreed with ImMeeMee,
I also feel my son, even though autistic, also dun like to be reprimanded and also need a lot of praises and assurance. No different from other kids.
He also will feel jealous and wants our attention. And being the oldest, he loves to boss his two younger siblings around.
ASD kids are as sensitive as normal kids. -
Imeemee.
I’m as guilty as grandmother …
I shout at my son very often n I also use words like “shut up”“” -
nugget:
nugget, its a good sign that he feels jealousy.I agreed with ImMeeMee,
I also feel my son, even though autistic, also dun like to be reprimanded and also need a lot of praises and assurance. No different from other kids.
He also will feel jealous and wants our attention. And being the oldest, he loves to boss his two younger siblings around.
ASD kids are as sensitive as normal kids.
My doter recently feels upset at times when she sees her two sisters going to school in the early morning without her. She will say she wants to go to the school too and that she wants to wear the school name tag.
Since our application to school next year is not fixed yet, I cant talk to her about looking forward to new school at this point. :sad:
She's at the stage where she needs some managing of self-esteem now, so I do find it a bit tricky. -
Imeemee… Nuget .
My son too will get jealous when I carry other baby -
ImMeeMee.
My son feels like he has privilege cos he is oldest. he is quite egoistic and bossy.
Maybe let your doter take care of certain things and give lots of praise. It might help to boost self esteem.
Like my son now likes to help all of us refilled our water and water bottles. He feel very good when he did a good job. -
helplessmum3:
helplessmum, try to control your temper. Your son is a bright child and the last thing you want is to push him the other way.Imeemee.
I'm as guilty as grandmother ...
I shout at my son very often n I also use words like \"shut up\"\"\"