Extra Marital Affair

[winth]

insider:

hahaha...amused by this last bit (coz I really find quite true as this being one of the characteristics of some straying men I knew).


There is sort of a 'conclusion' among my girlfriends pertaining to what kind of men has the highest chance of straying:

1. men who married their first girlfriend, and

2. men who have never 'played' (in a sense having party / group outings kind of life) when they were 'young, meaning from young is 'Yes, Mother' then after married is 'Yes, Wife'. kind of men.

These 2 categories of men may stray around mid 40s (sort of suddenly wake up and realise there are so many interesting 'side' dish around and they just want to feel 'alive' and be a 'No' man for once instead of forever 'yeses' (this also applicable to kids who are usually kwai kwai kind and suddenly rebel coz just no fun to keep saying 'yes', 'yes', 'yes'...)

Oops... I'm his first girlfriend.
I'm holding on to this man really tightly and catching those first signs of him even 'straying'.

I think mid-40s is a really scary age range when men get more matured and ripened while their women are continue to just age. 40s is also a period where women go through menopause and lower sexual appetite, so men are more vulnerable to temptations.

buds:

I even told her that i notice how he had his fingers
wrapped firmly on her arm (when he has his arm
around her) and exchange notty winks during our
group outings.. how he plays with her hair when
all of us sit down for drinks and chats.. they still
even go pubbing together like their old days..
young at heart and so in love.

Actually I noticed too that men who do that so outwardly to their female partners are 'not as simple' as how it looks.

My FIL could have his arms around MIL's shoulders and select dishes for her during mealtimes when we are outside. But they were just talking about divorce due to his affairs just the night before.

[baby2momma]

....the last i heard now was that

my relative wants a short-term
separation from her man....

i gather she still feels disgusted
with his 'actions' and worst still
the 'other' woman coming up to
their home knocking on the door &
creating a din !!!! :frustrated:

sigh, then the kids dunno how lor???

[ponyo]

hi ya all,


reading about all these stories remind me of 2 acquaintenances who were the 3rd party:

Case 1: my ex-boss from my first job
K, my boss from my very 1st job, is a dynamic, go-getter and extremely sexy lady. A definitely head turner everywhere she goes. After I joined, I realised that most people shun her and was quite bewildered 'cos she seemed like a fun and nice person to talk to. It was only after quite a few months into the job that I learned from my ex-colleagues what happened. Apparently, she got involved in a relationship with a fellow manager who was married with kids. Things got so bad that one day the wife came to the office to straighten things out and somehow things got out of hand and the police were called in (I was told K got hit) to settle the chaos. Because of that incident, everyone came to know of the affair and began to lose respect for her. 'cos at that time, K was ranks lower than her lover and there were rumours that she wanted to use him to get ahead. The guy left the company shortly after the cover was blown and she got promoted I think.

That was when I joined and I could really sense the icy cold treatment from my ex-colleagues towards her. Not long after, a new rumour started which involved her and the MD. The dept secretary was so disgusted that she quitted. She claimed to have chanced upon them doing it in a training room when she was working late one night. Thinking she was the last person in the office, she started locking the doors of all the rooms when she saw light coming out from the training room and what greeted her was :!:

Being a fresh grad, I decided to take a neutral stand despite more and more rumours about them. one day, K asked me into her room and asked me point blank (since I was one of the few who talked to her) if I had heard about the stories and if I believed them. Told her it was her personal affairs and that it was none of my business. She did not seem at all ashamed and was telling me the 1st mgr was stupid etc and then how ugly the MD was and how his wife could stand him etc etc. Then she told me about her supposed best friend (she even showed me her pix), also another pretty gal, and how she slept her way up the corporate ladder. At that point, I began to see through her character flaw and her materialistic ways and the influence her friend had on her.

I left the company shortly as it was too much for me to take. So, even though you may be an adult, never underestimate the influence of your inner circle of friends.

Case #2: an acquaintenance
A is a good friend of an ex-classmate of mine. Met her a couple of times during my classmate’s graduation ceremony and at her wedding.

A comes from a single parent family. Father abandoned family when she was very young. From young, her mum taught her to want only the best even though they were poor. While in college, she would use her charms on the boys and friends to get her expensive stuff.

After A started working in an MNC, she got involved with one of the managers (a taiwanese) during an overseas assignment. She claimed she was just being sympathetic to him 'cos he was going through a rough patch with his wife. A is really very very teh type (I know through my interactions), and soon she had the guy twirled around her little finger. He even gave up all his stock options to her, helped her out in her career (tho she said she was the one who helped him).

All this while the wife was in the dark, until the man mentioned the D word and all hell broke loose. Eventually, the man went back to his family though not before A told the wife she (A) was still the winner as she was the one who dumped him and all his options (worth quite a bit) and money are all hers now. What the wife is just a loser :x

Anyway, after that she continued to be involved with a few more men (even got one to invest in a condo with her and when that relationship kaputz – afterall it’s based on lust only , she got the condo).

It was very sad for me to hear about such stories. Even sadder for my classmate as she tried to talk sense into A but failed each time.

Was wondering if A’s mum knew how much damage had been done to A due to her constant indoctrination of materialism.

*******************
So parents out there, beware of what you teach your little ones. Wealth in the material sense is not everything…also, know the friends that your kids are mixing with even when they are adults…

[corneyAmber]

buds:

Yup. Agree. These are the kinda men who did not get their fun

before they got hitched. First ever girlfriend mah, never got
round to knowing other girls in their lives. Attribute that to
being shy and timid & the goody two shoes all their lives.
Upon marriage & with more experience thereafter, they
feel it's time to get out and hey... explore the world out
there.

This applies to women too.. When they marry the first guy they meet, they also end up in EMA more easily.

[Andaiz]

ks2me:

This applies to women too.. When they marry the first guy they meet, they also end up in EMA more easily.

Cham...I married my first serious boyfriend leh. How?

[Eagle-Ladybird]

so moral of the story is : choose and marry the Ah Bengs and the Ah Lians, the \"smellier\" the better. They have been there, done it, seen it . . eaten more salt than all the goody-2-shoes' have for rice. Nothing they have not seen or tasted, so no temptations will ever come up tops . . . . :? hmmm . . . how about that ?



Just kidding la . . . thot of making some smiles, since the topic is so heavy

[peapot]

Me too!! I marry my first serious boyfriend!! No wonder these days I don't even miss him when he's away. Infact I feel so free........can do what I want......ha....ha...

[Andaiz]

peapot:

Me too!! I marry my first serious boyfriend!! No wonder these days I don't even miss him when he's away. Infact I feel so free........can do what I want......ha....ha...

Hi-5, peapot. But I take the experiences of friends and forummers very seriously. I usually slip in a framed picture of the family in his luggage lah.

I know that's not 100% foolproof but its still a REMINDER of all the things he COULD choose to throw away in a moment of lust! :evil:

[corneyAmber]

Andaiz:

ks2me:

This applies to women too.. When they marry the first guy they meet, they also end up in EMA more easily.

Cham...I married my first serious boyfriend leh. How?

More easily..does not mean it will happen la.. Anyway mind over matters, so I believe you have the strength of mind. :celebrate:

[buds]

That’s the phrase… "Strength of mind."

It also helps that women have vaginas
in this case. I’m told we ladies have a
strong head over our shoulders & dun
always need to use our hearts to think
all the time. Some men just think with
their … ehem… ya know what lah hor.