Time schedule & life of Secondary School

[julongmum]

girlmum:

OMG! AM I glad to know that I am not the only 1 who is having this problem. My DDs are not allowed to use the com without permission. So far so good except for petty quarrels over who uses longer. Caught DD1 (sec 2) texting when she is supposed to be studying. Talk sense & scold no use :stupid: , Ok for a while, 2 - 3 days later back to sq 1. She blew the sms limit a few times, 1st mth DH paid with warning, 2 & 3rd mths she paid. Now guai guai within limit. I will keep her Hp when she is revising for exams. Told her if grades Ok, mum will be Ok/yes mum, grades not Ok, mum will be Not Ok/No mum. Want new CD, grades Ok, I'm Ok.

girlmum, mine is very similar to yours. Can't use computer unless there is a valid reason during school term. I am a little relax during hol. As DD & DS are sharing laptop, so they take turn and set time limit for both. There r times they quarrel and complain the other use it longer.

don't play play with computer addiction. when addicted, it does not only affect academically but also character and behavioural changes. Have seen good boy transformed to rebellious and doing-nothing-but-computer games, which is very sad.

[VitoRelax]

daisyt:

Hi Fairy, I thought I am the only one having this msn, facebook and blog problems. Glad to know, you are actually having this problem as me too. We tried to talk, give her limits, nag, kept a close eye on (like kuzco) and whatever ways but not successful. No choice, my hubby did something very drastic - block them in her laptop. I have no other options as I am seeing her BEGINNING to get addicted. I know this created some unhappiness but slowly, I can see, she is beginning to understand our good intention.


I personally feel that without all these, we could survive during our study time, I am sure, now its still the same. Don't convince me times has changed, technology has changed. Yes, technology is meant to help us, like the search engines, online informations we can find easily. I admit all these are useful tools for learning, but not msn, facebook, blog and tweeter.

So I am right, all these can be quite addictive.

You are right daisyt, lots of distraction for the kids nowdays ...

And kudos to you for helping all of us here ...

I hope to learn from your experience ...

Cheers

[kuzco]

julongmum:

don't play play with computer addiction. when addicted, it does not only affect academically but also character and behavioural changes. Have seen good boy transformed to rebellious and doing-nothing-but-computer games, which is very sad.

Agree with you, julongmum. This is my real fear.
Anyway, I am keeping a close watch and will not hesitate to block websites when the time comes.

With technology comes the challenge of walking the middle road. We cannot afford not to acknowledge that technology will be very much in our lives of our children, neither can we ignore the fact that too much of it can lead to the slippery road down to addiction and self-destruction.

[daisyt]

mummyjoyce:

My DD reached home at 6.30om today and she was so angry!!! Her CCA trial ended at 5.10pm and it took more than an hr to get home due to heavy traffic. She has homework to do but needed to check on CCA trial status online (she said just 5 min).

She also wanted to go facebook to see if there is any New Friends. I allowed her ( thinking that it is also another 5 min). The moment she was online, many of her classmates started to chat with her asking her abt her day and homework questions :x
I was sitting next to her and obvious to close to 15min. NOW, i can totally understand the problem with kids going online chatting unnecessary stuffs and it is totally a waste of time.
She is still doing her homework now and she is angry as she cannot get to watch TV pgm and sleep by 9pm.

hi mummjoyce, true, a waste of time. All the 5 minutes here and there, add up together, you cannot imagine the amount of time wasted.

[daisyt]

VitoRelax:

You are right daisyt, lots of distraction for the kids nowdays ...

And kudos to you for helping all of us here ...

I hope to learn from your experience ...

Cheers

Hi VitoRelax, :oops: we are all learning from each other.
I totally agree with westmom \"take measure as \"responsible\" mother\".

[daisyt]

kuzco:

Agree with you, julongmum. This is my real fear.
Anyway, I am keeping a close watch and will not hesitate to block websites when the time comes.

:celebrate:

[dunnoleh]

girlmum:

... My DDs are not allowed to use the com without permission.

... She blew the sms limit a few times, 1st mth DH paid with warning, 2 & 3rd mths she paid. Now guai guai within limit.
... I will keep her Hp when she is revising for exams.
... Told her if grades Ok, mum will be Ok/yes mum, grades not Ok, mum will be Not Ok/No mum. Want new CD, grades Ok, I'm Ok.

girlmum, I like your style!

:celebrate:

[Fairy]

daisyt:

Hi Fairy, I thought I am the only one having this msn, facebook and blog problems. .... No choice, my hubby did something very drastic - block them in her laptop. I have no other options as I am seeing her BEGINNING to get addicted. I know this created some unhappiness but slowly, I can see, she is beginning to understand our good intention.

Hi daisyt, Hi All who gave suggestions,

Sorry I just saw your responses to my request for advice. I definitely can't block sites like facebook, msn, chats and lately, class blogs. Firstly, my ds is very tech savy. He has his way to get around. Secondly, they will definitely create a scene, if you understand what I meant. Not that I'm worried about their outbursts, I do not wish to get to the situation where the tension/conflict is too much. It's difficult to unwind them and it's not good if you're trying to understand them, 'be their friend' (you know, at this age, FRIENDS IS EVERYTHING, particularly for girls) and their confidante. Once the trust (ie. trust that we really understand them and is on their side.... sigh ) is broken, it will be difficult to build up again.

Especially to my dd, ALL AND SUNDRY are doing this, so, what's the big deal? :x

kuzco:

Hi Fairy. Yes, it has been a war of words and tension in the air since school started. How have your ds and dd been doing in their school work so far?

My thinking is that if they are able to produce results (in their school work), then I will let it be. However, if grades suffer, then something must be done.

kuzco,
Isn't it a bit too late to wait half a year to see if their results has suffered due to time spent online? Moreover, I don't really like the idea of using results as a trade off for computer time, just like I'll never use monetary reward to coax my kids to study.

westmom:

I think being \"prepared\" works for me. I've been warned by many of the negative effects of facebook/online chatting/games/hp msg on their lives (including academic aspects). I bring up all these worries/concerns (with stories of others ..to show dd how bad such influences are & consequences) and therefore I inform her that I need to take measure as \"responsible\" mother to curb such activies. I sought her understanding. After PSLE, I allowed her freely to play, facebooking and chat but I already pre-warned her beforehand that non-sch related activities on computer/hp will taken away when Sec 1 school starts. This makes it easier to implement when the time comes. I told her that the hp is only for emergencies use (& I can track because technology is very advance) and all other communications with friends and classmates must be done through the house phone (no hp) and within reasonable time during her breaks. During hols, we agree that such priviledges will be given back to her but only after she does all necessary hw and will be limited to certain duration only. So far she has not protested because some of her friends had similar \"treatment\" too from their parents.

westmon,
I think your strategy is the most ideal. You did the right thing by setting the rules for online activities & hp usage right at the beginning. Once they have tasted the fruits/enjoyed the freedom, it's difficult to withdraw, re-set a more stringent rule or demand to take back those priviledges. They will perceive it as unreasonable behavior on our part and that will contribute more to their defiance. I made the mistake of not making the rule clear at the onset. Now, I have a lot of s*** to clear. Gotta constantly nag (bad...) about hp & comp. Dd is texting way too often, apart from visiting class blog, facebook lately.

Yes, the treatment/priviledge that theie peers are receiving do impact the actions we took. eg. if their friends are also controlled by their parents in these areas, they will be more receptive to such treatments from their parents.

I still have not figure out how to handle the situation in the best possible way. Anyway, nice to share and learn from all at this forum.

[daisyt]

Hi Fairy, it all voice down to what approach best suit the kids before we find out a solution.


I don’t just block and full stop. I explained to dd our act and show her the newspaper articles about computer addiction. My philosophy towards all issues is always this "Others are doing it doesn’t mean you have to follow, everyone has their own lifestyle, every family is different". So far, regarding the blocking issue, I am very glad, dd has finally accepted our good intention. I also believe self discipline is very important but when I see there is lack in this, I would step in to help.

[Serafiel]

Well, my schedule varies.

Sec 1-2:
Mon: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 5.30 due to CCA.
Thurs: ends at 6.30 due to Japanese.
Fri: ends at 2.30.
Sec 3-4:
Mon: ends at 2.30
Tue: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
Wed: ends at 7 due to japanese.
Thurs: Ends at 2.30
Fri: Ends at 6.30 due to CCA.
The change is because MOELC now holds weekly lessons for third language.