In-law problems?

[buds]

I'm so exhausted dealing with my ILs on a daily basis.

I cannot take any more excitement than i already have
the last ten years. I'm giving it my all..... all the strength
that i have left to pit for my happiness and i sincerely pray
hubs will stand up for US this time... stand for me and what
our relationship... what our marriage means to him. I want to feel
important and the centre of his life just like how he treats his mom.

The only difference is i don't bad mouth and make up stories. Yet i'm
always the black sheep. That is what i get for being too forgiving? Not tt
i don't mind or i bo chap. I DO mind & i'm extremely hurt from the 10yrs
of emotional abuse. I've come out all bruised and swollen but heck definitely
stronger.

Last heard, BIL is not keen to take them in. Finding many way outs and
excuses. But i :salute: him for taking his wife and kids into consideration
first ALL the time. He says, he must be able to handle his family first cos
if they're not happy then he won't be either. Not having the parents in
with them will help to avoid conflict. Having conflicts with his wife over
them will definitely make him unhappy. Clever hor.. Mine wud rather i
endure the conflicts & ensure they got a space to stay... even when it
meant a very emotionally straining relationship. Hubs never believes
me when i'm sad things happen.. I'm tired.. just really worn out...
exhausted... all i want is for us to live our own lives.

I sincerely hope hubs does not force me to take them in to stay with us
@ our new place cos i'm honestly done dealing with them.. i've had enuf.
I honestly cannot take any more.

[Mrs Ang]

buds, I can understand how you feel and admire how u can tolerate this for 10 years. I that your ILs will not stay with you. All the best and no matter what happen please be strong.

[tree nymph]

Oh dear Buds!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :shock: :shock:


This will be terrible!

Can your hubs and your BIL contribute some money for your PIL to buy a flat for them to stay on their own? very jialat if this is the case, reverting back to the original status!!!!!!!!!

[hquek]

hi buds,


Good luck. I hope you all can find a solution that works and that does not involve you having to stay with them.

You have gone through 10 very trying years. It’s time to take a break.

Just kp, can they not apply for those elders studio flats? If they are able, they should stay on their own first. Whatever it is, a break will be good for all around.

[mummy of 2]

Dear buds


Hope all will end well, and that your suffering will come to an end soon. 10 years is a long time, and it’s not easy to even get to this stage. Hope your DH will understand and appreciate your scarifices, and DO something about it.

[duriz]

buds:

I sincerely hope hubs does not force me to take them in to stay with us @ our new place cos i'm honestly done dealing with them.. i've had enuf. I honestly cannot take any more.

I'm praying for you Mummy buds :hugs:

[auntieM]

My goodness! I can imagine loads must be going thru your mind now.. ..

It will really be taxing for you with a new baby and new home..
I too agree that your ILs should look for a place and stay on their own..
Do sit down with your hubby and have a good chat..how can he go back on his words so soon..
Please take good care buds
:hugs:

[RRMummy]

i pray that he will come to his senses soon of the potential damage the strain will cause..

i pray that he will have the courage to stand up for you and your children...
i pray that you have enough strength and energy to endure this a little more longer...
I pray that you will come out of this 'game' thriumphant.

Do take good care dear.. :snuggles:

Again, I share my fav poem with you:

Footsteps In The Sand

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.


This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
\"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.\"


The LORD replied:
\"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.\"

http://www.postimage.org/

p/s. You've got PM..

[janet88]

buds:

Mine wud rather i endure the conflicts & ensure they got a space to stay... even when it meant a very emotionally straining relationship. Hubs never believes me when i'm sad things happen.. I'm tired.. just really worn out... exhausted... all i want is for us to live our own lives.

I understand how you feel. A marriage can break down when the old ones cause conflict and hubby doesn't know bcos all he sees is the angelic & demure side. Living with husband and kids can be so blissful, of course with ups and downs, and the last thing any woman wants is conflict. I hate it most when the old one comes into the picture and creates unhappiness between the couple, which happened during the early years of my marriage. We will always quarrel after a visit.

[Sun_2010]

buds I sincerely hope that things go ur way.

buds:

I want to feel important and the centre of his life

Its only fair men do this. after all wifes do - we love our kids, our parents but we love DH more. Why cant they reciprocate ?? :x

buds:

That is what i get for being too forgiving? Not tt
i don't mind or i bo chap. I DO mind & i'm extremely hurt from the 10yrs
of emotional abuse. I've come out all bruised and swollen but heck definitely stronger.

The price of being good...
Sometimes its time to put ur foot down - it can be very emotinally draining to live with someone under the same roof when the relationship is very strained.

buds:

I sincerely hope hubs does not force me to take them in to stay with us
@ our new place cos i'm honestly done dealing with them.. i've had enuf.
I honestly cannot take any more.

Guess u r really down. so far the posts i have read of urs are all oozing with enthusiam , give really useful advice, a pat o someones back...

So here is something to cheer u up , laugh even if u heard it b4

God couldnt be everywhere so he made mothers. :love:
Devil couldnt be everywhere so he made MILs