Club SAHM

[buds]

jedamum:

..... then my husband said if the salary is worth the time away from the kids :roll: men....

Humph. MEN..
And their mind games.

I'd prefer they play paper dolls, when it comes to this. :lol:

[RRMummy]

jedamum:

men....on one hand asked if the added work responsibilities that comes with being in a higher post will result in more OT and on the other hand said that the lower responsibilities translate to lower pay and not worth to take up the time :roll:

see the trap there?

buds:

Humph. MEN..
And their mind games.

I'd prefer they play paper dolls, when it comes to this. :lol:

:rotflmao: I expect to see more :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: anytime soon... :lol:

[ChiefKiasu]

RRMummy:

...

buds:

Humph. MEN..

And their mind games.

I'd prefer they play paper dolls, when it comes to this. :lol:

:rotflmao: I expect to see more :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: anytime soon... :lol:

Cannot... bang too much liao. My mommy told me long time ago that too much banging of head on walls will really make me stupid.

[Twins]

flim:

hi puzzle,


i would keep my job if i were you... the children will spend most of their days in school anyway. it all depends on what your concerns are. in my opinion, ideally the children can stay at their grandparents' before/after school, and you can see them when you come back from work, so no need for maid.

i'm a SAHM and i'm hoping that i can go to work once my daughter enters primary school. i'm concerned that i would have a lot of free time (besides doing housework) while she's in school. working will give me an opportunity to utilize my talents (altho i'm not sure what they are... but i'm pretty sure i have one!) and give my daughter a chance to be more independent. at least that's what i hope.

having been a SAHM for 4 years, i have to admit things can get very boring...

Hi Flim and every other SAHM who may have some spare time on their hands,

It doesn't have to get boring at all! Have you ever considered volunteering? There are many children-related non-profit organisations in Singapore who would welcome an extra pair of hands / brains!
I've taken a year off work and been a SAHM for 4 months and loving it, and even with my 3 boys, I find time in between to volunteer at World Vision (http://www.wvi.org). Their focus is on the under-privileged children around the world and dedicate efforts to raise awareness on poverty, famine, HIV etc. I'm now helping them with their 24-hr famine camp that will take place this June. Depending on what your interests and skill set are, you can contribute as you deem fit - just meet and chat with the staff there.

It's entirely voluntary and you can choose to work at home or go into their office (of course depending on what needs to get done). You can offer time once a week or more - all flexible. Bottomline, they very much appreciate your effort and hence, the flexibility. Exmaples of other children related causes are Make-A-Wish Foundation, Children's Society etc.

Have a thot about it. It's very self-fulfilling for me personally, and a great example you're setting for your children!

[RRMummy]

Twins:

I've taken a year off work and been a SAHM for 4 months and loving it, and even with my 3 boys, I find time in between to volunteer at World Vision (http://www.wvi.org)... It's very self-fulfilling for me personally, and a great example you're setting for your children!

:ugogirl:

[RRMummy]

ChiefKiasu:

Cannot... bang too much liao. My mommy told me long time ago that too much banging of head on walls will really make me stupid.

haiz.. guess I need to throw my 'weeja' board also.. not accurate wan...

[sunflower]

Many years ago when I had only one child, I was working fulltime, had a maid and sent my child to childcare centre. I used to lament how little time I had with my child and felt that SAHM had all the time in the world to teach their children fruitfully. I used to think that SAHM has lots of free time, (you know, like my maid who was quite “eng” when my girl was in childcare with nobody at home). In fact, many of my working friends also have that misconception. Now that I’m a SAHM, I feel that it’s even worse off than when I was working! (This sentiment was shared by quite a number of my friends who turned SAHM.) I was actually more disciplined in teaching my DD1 when I was working. You know, just concentrate on teaching and leave the cooking and cleaning, (ie. maintaining the house, which can take up quite a lot time) to maid.


Now with 2 children with diverse needs due to large age gap, there’re 101 things to do, esp without having a maid around (frankly I don’t like having maids as I value my privacy more). I was actually quite depressed and took some time to adjust to being a SAHM. Now, “home" work tends to get more physically demanding and not mentally stimulating. I dislike repetitive and boring chores, preferring to work my brains than my muscles. Am still trying to find ways to be more productive, as my children developmental needs change ever so quickly at different stages of growing up. I really need to adapt and adjust very quickly and be attuned to their very diversified and different stages of growing up, which sometimes disrupt my planned schedules and routines.

I guess to be an effective SAHM, you need to be very disciplined and has lots of energy to be on call 24 hrs a day (esp with a baby).

[flim]

hi twins!


thanks so much for your suggestion. that sounds really good! i never thought you can do volunteer work from home. are you doing it from home too? what sort of work is it?

actually when i wrote that it can get really boring being a SAHM, it’s not so much about the free time involved. because there is really very little of that… it’s more about the kind of activities i do being a SAHM.

my daughter is 4 years old. sometimes i feel bored playing cooking with my daughter, because it’s very repetitive! sometimes i feel bored playing pretend (my daughter does this a LOT! i have to be all kinds of things). just as sunflower said, it isn’t very mentally stimulating, well, at least for me.

and more often than not, playing leads to a standoff. it’s difficult playing with your child when you’re the parent. i can’t always let her play the way she wants. when she plays unfairly, i have to correct her. with she speaks rudely, i have to correct her. this kinda play is definitely not fun for her nor me (which is why i’m now looking for a kindergarten/childcare with a lot of playtime in its syllabus, though i still haven’t found one, so my daughter can at least have some play opportunities with kids her age).

that’s just my experience. i hope it helps.

so what do you think so far, puzzle?

[jedamum]

flim:

my daughter is 4 years old. sometimes i feel bored playing cooking with my daughter, because it's very repetitive! sometimes i feel bored playing pretend (my daughter does this a LOT! i have to be all kinds of things). just as sunflower said, it isn't very mentally stimulating, well, at least for me.

I have to restrain from playing 'cooking', 'house - with figurines' games with my elder....that is what I am usually interested in playing. He just want cars cars cars...park here, park there...cannot turn here or there...haiz...101 traffic rules.
Now that he'd got a lego set (a fire station), i am tempting to do pretend play...but wonders if it is too girly.

flim:

and more often than not, playing leads to a standoff. it's difficult playing with your child when you're the parent. i can't always let her play the way she wants. when she plays unfairly, i have to correct her. with she speaks rudely, i have to correct her.

I used to have this problem too! My elder boy wants to win all the time! Even at the expense of following the rules! When I win, he sulks. Playing with him is tough. But thankfully that is 3 years ago. Since the younger one starts knowing how to play, my elder boy is happier bossing the younger one around. :roll:

[schellen]

jedamum:

I have to restrain from playing 'cooking', 'house - with figurines' games with my elder....that is what I am usually interested in playing. He just want cars cars cars...park here, park there...cannot turn here or there...haiz...101 traffic rules.

Now that he'd got a lego set (a fire station), i am tempting to do pretend play...but wonders if it is too girly.

This part cannot help you already cos my DD will play anything, from cooking to doctor to cars and Lego. She also has a toy toolkit and she used to like watching Handy Manny until she outgrew it. Maybe sashimi will ahve something to say from a guy's point of view?

jedamum:

I used to have this problem too! My elder boy wants to win all the time! Even at the expense of following the rules! When I win, he sulks. Playing with him is tough. But thankfully that is 3 years ago. Since the younger one starts knowing how to play, my elder boy is happier bossing the younger one around. :roll:

We learned to \"teach\" our DD fair play. I think we pretended to whine and sulk and throw a tantrum too to show her how she is like when she loses. Although we \"let water\" occasionally to balance the odds, she is better at being a good sport now.