Do you compare your kid's school results with others?

[MummyThreeStreams]

When I was in primary school, my mum always asked me about how the rest of the class did. I did not like it. It was extremely demoralizing if I didn’t do as well as so and so. And, if I topped the class, so what, it did not serve to make me try to work harder. When I reached secondary school, and my mum had less time to worry about my grades, I never tried to compare my results with anyone else. I only competed against myself and pushed myself based on what I thought I could achieve. I bring this attitude to my child. I don’t compare him with his classmates. He does tell me how his classmates do. I listen but don’t encourage it. I’ll wait for his teachers’ feedback to figure out if he’s doing well enough or not.

[markfch]

MummyThreeStreams:

When I was in primary school, my mum always asked me about how the rest of the class did school. I did not like it. It was extremely demoralizing if I didn't do as well as so and so. And, if I topped the class, so what, it did not serve to make me try to work harder. When I reached secondary school, and my mum had less time to worry about my grades, I never tried to compare my results with anyone else. I only competed against myself and pushed myself based on what I thought I could achieve. I bring this attitude to my child. I don't compare him with his classmates. He does tell me how his classmates do. I listen but don't encourage it. I'll wait for his teachers' feedback to figure out if he's doing well enough or not.

:goodpost:

[markfch]

Pen88n:

Comparison has no end state - there is always another higher mountain out there. Different kids has different potential - how to compare orange with apple? What is important is the kid has tried his best and not \"short-change\" himself and his effort.

:goodpost:

I'll take what you and MummyThreeStreams posted on board.

[Suz855]

I will set target with my girls and want them to out-perform them. I always warn them it is useless to compete with others as it is oneself that they have to outperform inorder to show continuous improvement and progress ... besides competing with their classmates also make them selfish and less likely to share knowledge and work cordially on school work together.


I would still ask them how their classmates are doing as it is always amazing to know that despite the school teaching so little (have to teach my girl all this while) yet come the assessments, all the kids will still manage to score very well ..... :oops:

[SAHM_TAN]

My kids are too young to compare results.


I guess my approach will be for test paper to go through those that they have answered wrongly and to help them to understand how to give the correct answers.

For my character, comparing results will only make me panic, so my strategy is to concentrate on my kids and work out how to enable them to improve and be good enough. I have decided on their route of advancement to Uni. so I will work on how to get them there.

[Busymom]

MummyThreeStreams:

When I was in primary school, my mum always asked me about how the rest of the class did. I did not like it. It was extremely demoralizing if I didn't do as well as so and so. And, if I topped the class, so what, it did not serve to make me try to work harder. When I reached secondary school, and my mum had less time to worry about my grades, I never tried to compare my results with anyone else. I only competed against myself and pushed myself based on what I thought I could achieve. I bring this attitude to my child. I don't compare him with his classmates. He does tell me how his classmates do. I listen but don't encourage it. I'll wait for his teachers' feedback to figure out if he's doing well enough or not.

I don't compare now, and I hope I won't change as she gets older. :xedfingers:

But I do compare ds with his older sister, except not openly

[tankee]

Pen88n:

When DS comes back with his marks, we normally go thru the paper together and identify where he has \"short-change\" himself by making careless mistakes or incomplete answers. With this, he will know what is the potential he should be able to achieve for this paper.


I do not compare with other kids individually, but I use the high, low, mean and standard deviation provided by school to show DS where he stands in comparison with his cohort for each individual subjects.

Comparison has no end state - there is always another higher mountain out there. Different kids has different potential - how to compare orange with apple? What is important is the kid has tried his best and not \"short-change\" himself and his effort.

:goodpost:

[verykiasu2010]

sometimes the kids do compare among themselves without the parents doing it


DS would come back and and said so and so how many marks…(usually those higher than his)…and that would be his next target…that bunch of boys are super competitive, can discuss amongst themselves for half a day for half a mark question to see who has got better answer…

[MummyThreeStreams]

Busymom:

But I do compare ds with his older sister, except not openly

Hee hee, I confess, I think I'm probably guilty of that as well! But secretly lah...never in front of the kids! :oops:

[Funx3]

Pen88n:

When DS comes back with his marks, we normally go thru the paper together and identify where he has \"short-change\" himself by making careless mistakes or incomplete answers. With this, he will know what is the potential he should be able to achieve for this paper.


I do not compare with other kids individually, but I use the high, low, mean and standard deviation provided by school to show DS where he stands in comparison with his cohort for each individual subjects.

I did the Same thing.
As long as my Gal scores near or above the Avg, and Maintain her position more or less in the class position, I know she's OK. We pat each other's shoulders and out we go celebrate -liao!

But I do highlight those Q she got X or marks deducted for careless mistakes and sigh together with her over how many more marks she could add to her score, if only she has been more careful, or precise in her answers. Normally she get the Hint ....
(to be more careful ....)