How to work with insolent children

[sosomum]

Yes, Great books. worth reading as there are many scenerios in comics strips. Many times, we know what we should and should not do, but in practical, it is hard to control. Occasionally, i find myself using the tips and it improves the situation. so, happy reading. :celebrate:

[kiasimom]

My boy is 9 years old too.

I suppose this is call peer influence.
Kids nowadays are very different from the past. They don’t take instructions blindly.
My boy will ask me why if he feels that my instruction is not right ( according to him ).
Kids at his age is beginning to have their own identity and ownership. They want to make decisions themselves and want their decision to be affirmed.
So I always let him do the talking as in why he feels otherwise and after listening to him, I will then explain to him why I expect him to listen to me.
When he feels that I have a point, he will agree with me and listens to me.
I believe as adults we expect respect, but kids also expect respect from the adults.
And I will much prefer my kids to respect me head to toe rather than the autocratic respect.
Listen to your kids and you will be amazed to know how his little mind can surprise you.

[mummy of 2]

Thanks for the book recommendation. Have reserved a copy from NLB.

[Starling]

Hi, thanks for the tips. I feel much better knowing that all feel that parenting is a tough journey.


I am already facing the shouting match with my 4 yr old boy and I am really worried that it will get bad to worse. When daddy is around, the boy is better behaved.

I finally have a taste of the extent today when he shouted at me in a bookshop. Not only that, when he knew that I am not buying a particular book, he had the audacity to try running out of the shop!!!

Imagine what would have happen if he had really gone off…I really gave him a good scolding outside after his bad behaviour. Told him of the consequence of his action.

[daisyt]

After reading skippy’s posting, I fully agree with her.


Yelling or shouting will not do any good or solve the problem. Reasoning, talk it out, discussion are the best approach. Being an adult, we should be cool and calm before tackling the problems with our kids. Of course, adults are also normal human beings, we can lost control sometimes. I remember a situation, I was quite nervous on one issue that I kept repeating and nagging to dd. Instead of flare up on my nagging, she calmed me down "Relax mummy, cool down. Breath in, breath out !", with a smile. Immediately, my temperature drop and we were able to continue the discussion, with no heat. On the other hand, when discussion become out of control and the kids demand too much, we parents should know when to say, "No, this is not acceptable."

When there are heat argument, it is best to let both sides cool down. After cooling down, we should try to explain to them our standing, reasons and not just let it pass and forget about it.

[VitoRelax]

Does your child answer back ?


How do you deal with it ?

Thanks

[kiasimom]

I take it that it is healthy for a child to talk back.


I will first determine the reason why he talks back.
I will listen to him and I will then analyse why he talks back.

I don’t advocate the idea that as parents we are always right.

The child should have a mind of his own and be encouraged to speak up on what is in his mind.

I don’t want to raise a robot who will only listens to instructions but deprive of his thinkings and mindset.

As long as my child is not rude, it may be a positive thing for him to reason with me.

It shows that he has the ability to analyse.

[radiantmum]

kiasimom:

I take it that it is healthy for a child to talk back.


I will first determine the reason why he talks back.
I will listen to him and I will then analyse why he talks back.

I don't advocate the idea that as parents we are always right.

The child should have a mind of his own and be encouraged to speak up on what is in his mind.

I don't want to raise a robot who will only listens to instructions but deprive of his thinkings and mindset.

As long as my child is not rude, it may be a positive thing for him to reason with me.

It shows that he has the ability to analyse.

:goodpost: EXACTLY my sentiments!

[VitoRelax]

kiasimom:

As long as my child is not rude, it may be a positive thing for him to reason with me.

It shows that he has the ability to analyse.

You are right, but usually they are downright rude & showed lack of respect !!

What do you do then ?

[Andaiz]

VitoRelax:

kiasimom:

As long as my child is not rude, it may be a positive thing for him to reason with me.

It shows that he has the ability to analyse.

You are right, but usually they are downright rude & showed lack of respect !!

What do you do then ?

Tell them \"I say no/so\"...then when both are calmer, talk this through.

I've always cajoled and even plead and this year (okay, okay, it's Feb liao), I told myself, enough is enough...today at the shop when she dilly-dallied and started to talk back when I told her to hurry up and choose her product, she started getting rude.

I told her, \"okay, in that case we're not getting XXX.\" in my sternest voice; and then the shoplady (obviously NOT a parent) commented out loud, \"wah, you so strict ah\" :roll:

Sometimes, we just have to seize the moment and show DD/DS that we are serious...next time, it'd get easier coz she/he would think twice in being rude and answering back just for the sake of answering back; and in testing limits.

All the best!