Cold Wars (with your spouse)

[MummyThreeStreams]

The kids know when things aren’t right between the parents. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Parents always fighting or cold warring. Parents always miserable. They have stayed together for all these years and still behave dysfunctionally.


I hated being at home and I avoid visiting my parents (one on one is OK coz then they aren’t fighting!)

The worst thing was I didn’t have a good model of what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. I engaged in pretty much the same behaviors in my early relationships. It was only when I met my DH that I learnt how to maintain a healthy relationship. I don’t think my brothers have had such luck.

I like the comment made in a previous post, and I’d like to extend it. The best gift you can give a child is to love your partner and show it. They will learn from you and this will carry on into their lives, and into their children’s lives. If you have difficulty, please, please, seek help early. Don’t let your daughter think it’s OK to be helpless in a difficult relationship. Don’t let your son believe it’s OK to bully his way as head of the household.

[Kompressor]

MummyThreeStreams:

The kids know when things aren't right between the parents. I grew up in a dysfunctional family. Parents always fighting or cold warring. Parents always miserable. They have stayed together for all these years and still behave dysfunctionally.


I hated being at home and I avoid visiting my parents (one on one is OK coz then they aren't fighting!)

The worst thing was I didn't have a good model of what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. I engaged in pretty much the same behaviors in my early relationships. It was only when I met my DH that I learnt how to maintain a healthy relationship. I don't think my brothers have had such luck.

I like the comment made in a previous post, and I'd like to extend it. The best gift you can give a child is to love your partner and show it. They will learn from you and this will carry on into their lives, and into their children's lives. If you have difficulty, please, please, seek help early. Don't let your daughter think it's OK to be helpless in a difficult relationship. Don't let your son believe it's OK to bully his way as head of the household.

I agree with you.

I also grew up with a crazy mum. We went to court and she was charged with child abuse 3 times! She is one hard person to handle and things were so bad that I told myself I would save up enough money and move out at 21! True enough, I did that at my 21st birthday. I did not regret doing that, think otherwise I would be in IMH now!

Now, if she is in a crazy mood, I will dissappear and get far far away from her. I am a very forgiving person, so if she is ok, I am more than welcome to see her, but if she is in a mad mood, I will dissappear from her!

[lifestylelink]

another cold wars…


This is what happen when i suggest
1. go sandy beach, no sand play, just walk the beach
2. go bottletree park, no guppy play, just walk under the hot sun
3. go playground, no messy sand, just tip toe and walk under the hot sun
4. go holiday, no program plan, just sleep in the room

??..???

[kboon2009]

Anyone knows a good marriage counsellor? Do they usually charge fees for their service or are they from some voluntary/government agency?


Thanks.

[buds]

No payment required but may need to arrange for appointment as they also serve cases referred by other agencies or ministries. FSC provides them. There’s usually one within the neighborhood.


If you’re looking for added spiritual counselling, approaching your faith group can offer some other alternatives as well.

[Dino_Mummy]

Hi treasure-oneself,


Be Strong and Clear.

Staying in an unhealthy marriage ‘for the sake of your children’ is not necessary the most healthy environment for them as well. They are young but are also human beings with feelings - they can sense if something is not right.

First, you can try and see if your hubby wants to work things to become more amicable at home (councelling? see some details below). If not, decide for yourself if this is the best way of life for you and your children.

People will usually advise against divorce but i personally think if the relationship and marriage is beyond hope, then this may be an option to consider.

I have been through worse - his debts in my name, him being jobless for almost a year, not working and not helping with household chores (still expects me to do after i come home from work), etc. I am moving on - getting a divorce. My sob story is beyond words and i rather drop details.

For every case that seems bad, there is always a worse case; so you need to be strong and clear in your mind on what you want out of your own life, my dear.

May God bless you with a clear mind and direct you in the right direction.

(Btw, i signed myself here to look for some phonics info for my son and i chanced upon this thread. So, be brave.)

Hi kboon2009,

Perhaps you can try AWARE:
The AWARE Helpline is open Monday to Friday from 3pm to 9.30pm.

Call 1800 774 5935 to speak to a Helpliner if you have a problem or want to find out more about our services.

OR if you are a church goer, there are couselling for marriage as well.

[Eagle-Ladybird]

For all those mummies who have experienced cold wars from daddies, please show him below message :


The Silent TreatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, He would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM And he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and See why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
The bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for this kind of contest, so don't start, hahahahaha !! Have a nice day

[Imami]

alng:

the greatest love a father can ever give to his children is to love their mother.:-)

:goodpost:

[Baby39]

alng:

the greatest love a father can ever give to his children is to love their mother.:-)

my heart is bleeding when i read this ...

and reading thru' some of these msgs ... who wants to be a botak when one can have full nice hair?

[MrsSeah]

Eagle-Ladybird:

For all those mummies who have experienced cold wars from daddies, please show him below message :


The Silent TreatmentA man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, He would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM And he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and See why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
The bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for this kind of contest, so don't start, hahahahaha !! Have a nice day

hahahahaha so funny.