No Problem is problem

[Inagaki]

china wife? I have a neighbour who married a wife from china. She does not work. They have a 4yo kid who goes to childcare fulltime. Family stay with man’s parents and mil cooks for the family.


So what keeps her busy? Facial, haircut, manicure. Stay in HDB executive, have condo in bishan to collect 4-5k rent, hubby working. Sure the family can support her lifestyle. But it sounds just plain lazy to me. As a Singaporean, cannot understand why people would wanna waste her life away like that.

China wife lor, go lor. very sweet and pretty, just whether you can afford them.

[carebear]

Agree with you, Inagaki.

Actually i can’t imagine not working and leading a life as a lady of leisure. I think i will become a naggy and neurotic person.

[Eagle-Ladybird]

wo wo wo, let’s balance this a little - i think there’s a bit of over-generalisation here. I’m sure many men/husbands here in KSP are equally into houseworks


My dad, for one, contributes towards housework. He markets, cooks, clean the house, repairs whatever within his ability, does the garden. Mum does almost the same except for the garden, but does washing of clothes which my dad seldom. I would say, 50/50 between them over the years. Especially now when mum is not too well, dad does most of the heavy-duties!

When I got married, we split the house work basis perceived "strength" needed - I do the heavy-duty (scrubbing toilets/kitchens, mobbing etc) and wife does the ligther ones (washing/hanging clothes). I have to iron clothes as well, including those of my wife’s cause I’m better/quicker.

Of course now we have a domestic helper who has kindly taken over most of those duties. Both of us spent much of our time/energy with our kids.

So not all men are "lazy" or "dirty" or mcp or whatever else you label them. In fact, I would imagine, increasing more and more are not so

[vicki]

I must thank for FIL and MIL for giving \"housework\" duties to my dh and his brother in his growing up years! Cos maybe they have no maid - and both parents were working - so the kids have to \"help out\".


Now, my dh can sweep the floor better than me!! (Ok - not that i dont do hsewk - but my own parents stay in a 3room flat - so we never sweep the floor - instead we 'clean' the floor with a rag everyday) Haha! So, becos of this, i actually dont really know how to \"sweep\" the floor and my dh always have this incredulous look when i start using a rag to clean up the dust or dirt - he will go - errr... there's a broom and mop in the hse you know!)

[w_y_chung]

My friend had the wisdom to marry a girl who did not date other men before him. Wise.

Donkey Kong:

I have been married for 13 yrs. Time is not on our side.

Wife is always rushing here and there for kids. She is very busy with kids and always scold scold scold husband.

I help out in housework, kids'homework, etc. But, not appreciated. Always kenna scold scold scold. Do women like to scold their husbands?

Now I know why most older men work late in the office....
They don't want to get scoldings.

Now I understand why old cows like to eat young grass. :love:

:celebrate: Thank you Govt for providing us so many young grass. At least we have somewhere to go.
:?:

[janet88]

Eagle-Ladybird:

When I got married, we split the house work basis perceived \"strength\" needed - I do the heavy-duty (scrubbing toilets/kitchens, mobbing etc) and wife does the ligther ones (washing/hanging clothes). I have to iron clothes as well, including those of my wife's cause I'm better/quicker.


So not all men are \"lazy\" or \"dirty\" or mcp or whatever else you label them. In fact, I would imagine, increasing more and more are not so

Now that we do not have a maid, hubby helps out with the housework. He irons and mops. I do the rest.

[qizai]

Donkey Kong:

I have been married for 13 yrs. Time is not on our side.


Wife is always rushing here and there for kids. She is very busy with kids and always scold scold scold husband.

I help out in housework, kids'homework, etc. But, not appreciated. Always kenna scold scold scold. Do women like to scold their husbands?

Now I know why most older men work late in the office....
They don't want to get scoldings.

Now I understand why old cows like to eat young grass. :love:

:celebrate: Thank you Govt for providing us so many young grass. At least we have somewhere to go.
:?:

Hi Donkey Kong,

I like the game with your namesake too, but unfortunately, I can't remember how's it like anymore. Just remembered I liked it as a kid.

Back to your posting.

Obviously, your wife has some unmet needs. Her words are content free sometimes, so it's all about her needs not being met. Obviously while you think you are doing enough, she thinks you're not. Hence the nag.

While she might no longer be the sweet, sensual, pretty lady you married, you are most probably no longer the energetic, enthuastic, obliging guy she married.

So now, she's critical, micro-managing, spiteful and no longer a sweet darling, and you're indifferent, laid back, lazy, indulging in your little pleasures.

China grass? Think again. They're more like 断肠草。While they may provide a temporary high, they're like drugs (e.g. glue, cocaine). They give you a depressing low during the aftermath. Hope you haven't gone down that path yet.

You said your wife doesn't like to be touched? Well, chances are that there's plenty of things she's unhappy with you about. I can't say whether she's unreasonable or not, since she's not here in this forum to comment. But if you want to ignite the passion in the marriage, you've got to face the issues she wants resolved first.

Being a nice guy doesn't mean you shut up, switch off, play with the remote, or read the papers, when she's yelling. That's being not a nice guy. Being a nice guy means you make the effort to communicate with her what she is unhappy about.

Try this. Give her a blank sheet of paper, and ask her to write down all that she's unhappy with you about. Maybe some of these are unreasonable, maybe some are totally reasonable. Try to see if you can do some of those things. Give her some time to rationalize her demands. And then go shopping with her, buy her a nice dress, and shoes. Treat her like what you used to do, before you were married. Then, you can see changes..

Hope that helps.

[janet88]

Hi Donkey Kong,

Women do not like to scold nor nag at their husbands.

Your wife is rushing all the time and doing all these for the kids. As a SAHM, it’s not easy because it’s repeated all the time. I’m sure she wishes to be the sweet, pretty and attractive woman she once was. I do too, but is it possible when there are 2 kids who demand so much of my time ?

Young grass seems tempting, but after you have eaten, it may lead to something more drastic and very expensive to maintain it. The consequences are scary.

Sit down with your wife one day. Understand why she is scolding.
Hubby helps out with housework too. He’s working at home sometimes and can see for himself how the kids drive me nuts. He attends to them as much as he can, so that I can breathe easier.

[duriz]

janet_lee88:

Hi Donkey Kong,

Women do not like to scold nor nag at their husbands.

Your wife is rushing all the time and doing all these for the kids. As a SAHM, it's not easy because it's repeated all the time. I'm sure she wishes to be the sweet, pretty and attractive woman she once was. I do too, but is it possible when there are 2 kids who demand so much of my time ?

Young grass seems tempting, but after you have eaten, it may lead to something more drastic and very expensive to maintain it. The consequences are scary.

Sit down with your wife one day. Understand why she is scolding.
Hubby helps out with housework too. He's working at home sometimes and can see for himself how the kids drive me nuts. He attends to them as much as he can, so that I can breathe easier.

:goodpost:

[duriz]

Hi Donkey Kong,


Now that we have DD, the dynamics at home have definitely changed.
But I always tell DH to let me remain the "ke ai nu ren" he married.
Noone enjoys being the naggy one nor the one being nagged at.

Think back on when you decided to get married.
The person you were, and the person your DW was and still is.
What has changed? Why?
Try not to think about blame nor responsibility.
Think about sharing whatever the problem/burden is.
You are life partners: Talk, consult and support eachother.
My best wishes to you and yours.