No Problem is problem

[autumnbronze]

duriz:

autumnbronze:

I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

Oh autumn :hugs:
You loved eachother, you both knew that.
No regrets :hugs:
Thank you for sharing.

We all learn from our mistakes, don't we? *wry smile*

[duriz]

And about this \"greeting and saying goodbye at the door\" thingy.


Now that I'm a FTWM.
DH and I leave for work at the same time.
We come home at the same time as well.
In the same car.

During the time MIL was sick and DH stayed home.
DH and DD are usually asleep when I leave home.
So I kissed the two of them before I leave.
They picked me after work.
So I kiss the both of them hello.

When I was a SAHM.
I drove him to to work.
And I picked him from work.

In between, should we go anywhere separately, we would kiss eachother goodbye and hello again when we get home.
I hug DH more than he does me.
But he tells me that he loves me more than I do to him.
We don't keep scores.
Our language of love is definitely different.
I'm more demonstrative and he is more verbal.

In any case, DD hugs us plenty and showers us with sloppy kisses everyday :love:

[duriz]

autumnbronze:

We all learn from our mistakes, don't we? *wry smile*

I haven't met one person who hasn't made one :hugs:

[loner]

autumnbronze:

In a way, its nice to know that he insists that I should be the last and first face he sees whenever he leaves/returns home. Its one of the ways that makes me feel wanted and that he is kinda emotionally dependent on me too.
In fact, we keep in touch several times a day via smses or calls.

:offtopic: I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

That is one of my greatest fear too! I always remind him to drive safely and at times give him a before he leaves for work.... :love:

[Funz]

jedamum:

after the anger had subsided, dh explained. lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not? now i also make sure that the kids come out (of the study room) to greet the dad when he is home or going out.

maybe cos i am a SAHM, so i still have energy to do such things.

Jedamum, thank you for sharing this. Now I can understand better, this need for me to greet him at the door. All these time I keep thinking that it is an ego trip thing.

As for saying goodbye b4 he leaves the house, I make it a point to kiss him goodbye. And I make sure that the kids hug and kiss him goodbye too.

Actually very bad hor if we look at it another way. When he's leaving we are all there happily waving him goodbye but when he is coming home, none of us are at the door.

[Augmum]

Funz:

Alamak this greeting at the door thing. DH brought it up a few times, complaining that no one welcomes him at the door when he is home. At the peak of my frustration, I told him to get a dog.

LOL

i remembered my hub ever said in the past, \" Whitekie ( my persian cat) is the best, knows how to greet me when i come home.\"

reading this thread, i realise that we both also neber greet each other b4,
as in the past, we went to work together, came home together,
same workplace, so it's weird to greet each other

[buds]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

I very sad leh..

Can sign up for private tutelage? :idea:

Just when i was getting excited to know/learn more..
He shuts out.. Men.

:lol:

[buds]

janet_lee88:

Need some NC16 here...in case there are young kids who login.

B... bb...bbbuut... :idea: ... we dunno yet what 3Boys is gonna share?
May not be NC16 ya know.. In fact, i think even if it is... i am darn
sure HE can use his powderful England to explain it chastely & objectively.

He is one of the few men (left standing :lol:) in here, surrounded by a
huge colony of ladies and yet he does take the time to drop us hints
and tips on how we can indeed improve the way of life & our
relationship with our spouses.

I for one... am grateful to him for that.

In the long haul when i was feeling kinda down and lost in my marriage,
his words of wisdom did rub off on me in a good positive way.. Many
others too, who have kindly shared their love potions and secrets,
and also the virtual hugs and love... i'm forever grateful. Funny..
how chatting & sharing with you peeps keeps me sane. :lol:

:love:

janet_lee88:

My daughter from K2 told me that when mummy's door is closed, mummy and daddy are doing something...told us that after school one day :shock:

Ya.. can be sleeping or resting oso rite? Just don't look too guilty when
answering such queries from the children. Act cool nia. :preen:

[autumnbronze]

buds:

3Boys still yet to share secrets of his DW's \"wrapping\" ways.. :evil:
Other than wrapping legs of course.. :lol:

Good things must share right.. :please:

I wonder what the thread title should be :?

:idea: The ART of teh-ing

3boys, you have another potential pupil here ... I'm game to spruce up my teh-ing skills (I'm serious) ....

Willing to try harder to make DH happier. Because of his understanding, I am able to enjoy the role of being a SAHM ..... :love:

[buds]

Funz:

We have a maid. And DD will usually run to the door and greet him and will be telling him a million and one things which will lead to him scolding her, telling her to let him put his stuff down first. His issue is mainly with me. He wants me to drop whatever I am doing and be the one greeting him at the door.

DesertWind:

My son runs to the door each time he hears daddy comes back.

My DDs will always run to the door too. Regardless if it is me or daddy
who returns home. A friend of mine who had her last child a little late
says this... \"My teenage children will just be on the PC or lounging on
the couch glued to the TV... and here comes my accidental son hehee
(she didn't plan to have another one so late)... running to the door &
in between his sloppy kisses and tender hugs, quickly runs through
his day with my husband and i... :lol: ... and almost as quickly ends it
with a... why did you come home so late, i missed you so much...\" :love:

And she says, each and every day, she looks forward to this and her
weary day is forgotten. It puts a smile on her face... gives that warm
fuzzy feeling inside her... and that's what she loves coming home to..

As for the sometimes \"off\" days, hubs does get :frustrated: with the
girls if they are both talking at the same time.. (can't blame them..
they are sometimes excited to tell him stuff they thought would make
him happy and proud of them like mini achievements in school/home
or they were selected for something and sorts). If WE are at the door
and CAN sense the foul mood coming home, this is where we CAN
prevent it from escalating into something worse... for eg, indirectly
taking it out on people in the house... like everything is wrong that
day.

I sometimes tell my girls with non-verbal cues that perhaps daddy had
a bad day at work or he's very tired out or ya know men... just plain
moody on days.. :politebleah: They'd take the cue and proceed back
to their room to give daddy some quiet time to settle back into the
house and i will come into the picture with a hug, kiss & nice cool
drink.

Funz, sometimes we tend to think that HE actually has an issue with me.
Cause after a hard day's work he WAS kinda expecting a feel-good hug
& a nice warm, comforting smile when he goes up to the door... knowing
that he has indeed returned to a HOME... his home. :hugs:

With maids dominating household chores in our homes, it is easy to
forget to tend to our spouses like how our parents did it in the olden
days. My mumsie shared that she was teaching an aunt's maid how
to sew curtains for a couple of weeks.. The maid not only learnt that
but oblivious to mumsie, the maid also observed us as a family..

She told mumsie one day, \"Mum... it is rare these days to see wives
pouring a drink for their husbands when they're home from work. It
is usually us maids who get the drinks for them. I think what you are
doing is very nice, no wonder you have a loving family... My mum
does not do that. Since i worked for her many years ago, she has
not once made a drink for him when he came back nor asked abt
his day at work..\"

Mumsie freaked out and quickly taught the maid what she had to &
told her it is not nice to talk about other people.. & called my aunt to
take her back home. My aunt got wind of it, that she told my mumsie
abt it... got :X for a bit... and then loosened up... and last we heard
was the maid says once in awhile when my aunt was home, she wud
take the trouble to do so.. The maid wud automatically go to the kitchen
to get a drink for uncle but aunt would say, \"No need... today, i will make.\"

While aunt thought, \"The audacity!\" when she first got wind of what the
maid had shared with dunno how many others... she fumed but when
she analyzed how true it was (albeit coming from the observations of
a maid at that!)... she realized it did make some sense. The maid added
that those short welcome home drinks at times escalated into laughter &
lots of sharing between aunt and uncle. The maid has since left after
finishing her contract and aunt did give her a small hongbao as a token
of appreciation for her many years of good work and i guess also the
kaypoh-ing... :lol: ... Revelation comes in mysterious ways, uh?