No Problem is problem

[janet88]

Need some NC16 here...in case there are young kids who login.

My daughter from K2 told me that when mummy's door is closed, mummy and daddy are doing something...told us that after school one day :shock:

[DesertWind]

Funz:

We have a maid. And DD will usually run to the door and greet him and will be telling him a million and one things which will lead to him scolding her, telling her to let him put his stuff down first. His issue is mainly with me. He wants me to drop whatever I am doing and be the one greeting him at the door.

My son runs to the door each time he hears daddy comes back. His aim? To play inside the CAR! But gratifying to my hubby lah, since his boy has been doing this without fail each evening. For me, usually I come back later than him or will be having dinner so usually will not be at the door. If I am, that is to prevent DS from standing too close to the door while daddy parks his car. No problem from him that I can see so far!

But when hubby leaves the home, I think he kinda expects to be shown to the door and stand there until he drives off! The maid will definitely do that to wave all of us off in the morning. Weekends when I am home and he is going out grocery shopping, he will say \"goodbye, I am going grocery shopping\" to me and I could be watching TV and not paying much attention. He will say that a few more times and finally after about the 3rd time, I got the hint and drag myself out of the couch and walk him to the door and wave goodbye until he drove off! I think he feels kinda bad if nobody waves him off when he leaves the house and the rest of us are home. Same here when I leave for church on Sunday, he will get up, open the gate and sees me off until I got into the cab and disappear from sight. It is a nice feeling so I try to do this as well.
:romance:

[jedamum]

Funz:

Alamak this greeting at the door thing. DH brought it up a few times, complaining that no one welcomes him at the door when he is home. At the peak of my frustration, I told him to get a dog.


Ok, it is not that he comes home to indifference. When he arrives home, it is usually after all of us, we have already settled into our routine, kids with their toys or TV or school work, me with my work or my book or sometimes, we are in the middle of dinner. We greet him from wherever we are, you know, like \"Hi darling, how's your day.\" without breaking the momentum of what we are doing. I don't see why we should drop whatever we are doing to run to the door to say hello to him, everyday.

What is this thing about wifey and children running to the door the welcome you home? Need to fetch you your slippers and pour you a drink as well? That happens in reel family, not real family.

And he wants me to show appreciation to him for his effort in coming home to have dinner with us. For this, I just stared bug eyed at him. I am suppose to say thank you for THAT?!?!?!?

Ok better stop or else I will be ranting non-stop.

On the whole, yah, I agree, we need to tell our partners we care and we appreciate them. Some, like me, need to say it more and with more aplomb, ya know, like with banners and big band playing.

i don't fetch slippers for my dh.
but i am expected to go to the door to greet him when he gets home.
earlier days when i did not, it led to much black-faced from my husband.
i asked myself why is he behaving like my dad? my dad expected us to open the door for him and greet him when he came home late from work, if we were still awake.
after the anger had subsided, dh explained. lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not? now i also make sure that the kids come out (of the study room) to greet the dad when he is home or going out.
maybe cos i am a SAHM, so i still have energy to do such things.

[jedamum]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

:lol:

[schweppes]

jedamum:

after the anger had subsided, dh explained. lots of stress at work, on the way back, all he thinks about is seeing me, so he gets upset when he did not see me at the door. he needs a hug at the door everyday as it is a way of leaving his stress at the doorstep. i realised that a simple gesture from me can ensure that he gets into a good mood for the rest of the evening, so why not? now i also make sure that the kids come out (of the study room) to greet the dad when he is home or going out.

Somehow, I was touched when I read your post, Jedamum. Just a simple act of a hug and a greet to make another person's day better. Nice.

:love:

[schweppes]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

Do u need us to cheer u on?!?

{in chanting mode}

:rahrah:*3boys* :rahrah: *3boys* :rahrah: *3boys* :rahrah:

[Herbie]

I luv to send my dh tn the basement carpark n wave gnodbye to him when he goes to work. My personal view, problem starts to surface when we take each other for granted.

[autumnbronze]

DH expects me to greet or say good bye when he returns from/goes to work.


Same reasons as provided by jedamum's DH and also DH says that most importantly, he was brought up like that, which is true. No matter how late he is or how busy his parents are, they will come to the door to wave goodbye or greet him. In fact, DH's uncle, who lives next door, will come out too. Its a very big thing in their family.

Its something that I had to pick up because things were really bo chap over at my home before I got married. Now, we have inculcated this habit in our DS.

In a way, its nice to know that he insists that I should be the last and first face he sees whenever he leaves/returns home. Its one of the ways that makes me feel wanted and that he is kinda emotionally dependent on me too.

In fact, we keep in touch several times a day via smses or calls.

:offtopic: I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

[duriz]

autumnbronze:

I never bothered to step out of my room to say goodbye to my dad when he left for KL. Two days later, he passed away in a fatal hit and run accident there. The feeling of regret really gnaws at me whenever I think about it.

Oh autumn :hugs:
You loved eachother, you both knew that.
No regrets :hugs:
Thank you for sharing.

[duriz]

3Boys:

I very scared to post in this thread.....

Why leh?
After all that you've said and \"done\".
Come on, the ladies are cheering you on.
You can do it.

Or you need us to manja you on