桃花谈
-
title was misleading…
-
errrr…
if without your parents, you will not be here…
if without the 桃花 stars seedling, we will not have this relatively big tree with many branches…
this thread is for 有缘人… -
Fairy:
Exactly.very agree...but one more thing to add...sometx,we've to be thankful to the ppl who hurt us.Sound ridiculous?Nebbermind:
Actually a lot of people are hurting from resentment and guilt from past incidents without quite knowing it. A lot of happier people are those who have short term memory
If it is only a distant memory, its easier to let go.
If one is constantly 'reminded' by others' actions/words, past hurts feel fresh again and keeps haunting and tormenting.
Like Vinegar (i thought i read somewhere, sorry if i quoted wrongly), i chose aviodance. Avioded the sources of the hurts for years in my life and mistakenly thought I had overcame, let go...
Once defence down..., stopped avoiding, 'forgive and forget', or so, I thought, starts feeling pained by words/actions that reinforced past perceptions again.
Some things will never change, we can only change our reaction to the things.
I feel it takes a lot of positive experiences and experiences counter to the cause of the hurts to overcome the negative feelings and let go. People who are more 阿Q are happier because of their innate ability to block out negative experiences. Such people are borned 阿Q, dont believe such mental attribute can be cultivated.
If not bcoz of my immature ex-bf,i won't hv made the better choice n married my DH.No doubt once he hurt me so much,he also made me a stronger person.
-
insider:
i think i am the 有缘人 :oops:errrr...
if without your parents, you will not be here...
if without the 桃花 stars seedling, we will not have this relatively big tree with many branches...
this thread is for 有缘人...
indeed benefited from reading this thread.
-
My Mandarin is so bad, I can’t follow many of the lessons here …
-
Lucky I got A1 for my Chinese else I would not have benefited from this thread !
Thank you insider
-
vinegar:
Exactly.very agree...but one more thing to add...sometx,we've to be thankful to the ppl who hurt us.Sound ridiculous?
It's not ridiculous.
It's true though this truth like I said is not easy to really internalised.
This from Bible comes to my mind...(am not a Christian but I do practise the below coz that's part of 仁 ）
but I -- I say to you, Love your enemies, bless those cursing you, do good to those hating you, and pray for those accusing you falsely and persecuting you, -
ChiefKiasu:
Yes, pls rename it. This is a good thread, learn many lessons on lifeMaybe this thread should be renamed:
\"The Theory of Life\"
:love: -
phtthp:
It is indeed a good thread, but we must respect the threadstarter's wish in this case. insider has already explained why she named it as such, and who this thread is intended for.
Yes, pls rename it. This is a good thread, learn many lessons on lifeChiefKiasu:
Maybe this thread should be renamed:
\"The Theory of Life\"
:love: -
Nebbermind:
Actually a lot of people are hurting from resentment and guilt from past incidents without quite knowing it. A lot of happier people are those who have short term memory
I believe the above talking about 'small' unpleasant things.
Some people spend much money to visit psychiatrists due to emotional turmoils that they do not understand why cause such coz they cannot remember anything that could have resulted in their internal struggles.
When someone cannot recall, psychiatrists may have to resort to hypnosis to go into the subconsciousness of that person to help that person to comb back the memory, and such memories usually are painful ones that the person automatically wants to shut it out to stop the pain or whatsoever.
Shutting out (forgetting or don’t want to remember) is not a long term solution as our major behaviours and natural reflex towards events and people are controlled by much imbedded subconscious feelings.
That’s one of the main reasons that I attend courses now and then to get myself check to make sure that I am ok, and that I am not controlled by my subconsciousness (part of 无明).
Therefore, ‘forget’ is not the right way to go towards unpleasant and hurtful events of the past.
For any past hurts, the right thing is do is to dig them out (heart may bleed I know) and then try to resolve them and to ‘appreciate’ the hurts (usually there are ‘values’ in these hurts. Try to find the ‘values’.) Then resolve the hurts by telling yourself that these things cannot hurt me anymore, there’re OVER!
The right thing to do is to accept and forgive coz by doing so, you conquer the hurts and then will become a stronger person.
The right things is do is to 面对它、处理它、放下它.
There were so much hurt in my life but I've never chosen to forget about them (see I still can recount them like so 'excitedly' over here) coz I really appreciate their values in building the ME of today…
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login
Online Users
Recent Topics
Statistics
