桃花谈
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Imami:
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Recently, when we were leaving her place, I thought she was tearing. :scared: dunno got see wrong or not.
Recently I sort of quite scared of my 'power' when I almost like quite accurately predicted the pass on of my dad and my father-in-law.
I just could sense their 阳气 depleting, from the way they talked as well as from the content that they talked about.
My sense was particularly accurate for my father in law when during one family dim sum lunch, he held my hands and thanked me for giving him three great grand kids.
After that lunch, I emailed my brother in law (my husband's brother) who is very close with me. I told him my feelings were quite bad and he better come home for his dad's coming birthday the following month (that he originally intended to skip coz of his busy overseas assignments). I warned him it could be his dad's last birthday but he brushed it off as I being sensitive.
He didn't return for the birthday and my father in law passed on about 2 months after his birthday...
So in a way, one can actually feel the Qi of an elderly and if you are 'sharp' enough, you can like 'predict' the 'approximate date'...
So, do continue to treat the old folks well! -
Aiya, 就是这样lor. I kept having the thought of 时辰到了，就这几年。 but I tried hard to brush it aside becos u mentioned about the 念. She just seemed to lose her enthusiasm for life. She was not like that the last time. But of cos, there is a possibility that she is just sad and lonely becos her children are all busy and hardly with her.
I had two close encounters with death, not personally but from two close family members. The first was when I was 15. My maternal grandma had been sick for a while, not being able to stand and walk after she fell and broke her hips. At first, she was still alert and ok, just immobile. But as months past, I could feel her slipping away. I knew she didn't have much time left. This grandma looked after me for a short while when I was very young, so the bond was strong. I tried to stay with her in the room but she always chased me out. I was quite sad and couldn't understand why.
One day, I was all alone in the room with her but I kept having this feeling of being watched. The quiet her suddenly talked very loudly asking me to help her up, her family members were there (she pointed to the door) waiting to bring her to somewhere. I turned and looked, there was no one. She then started talking gibberish, like some kind of foreign language that I did not understand but it certainly seemed like a conversation she had with someone.
Then the smell of something rotten began to feel the room. It was a very :sick: smell. It came from her mouth. Strangely, I didn't feel frightened (the second time this happened, I freaked out). I ran downstairs to call my aunt and mom for help, telling them what I had experienced. Aunt and mom came up to check things out but said nothing. From that day, I was never allowed to be with my grandma alone. She passed on a few months later and I finally understood why grandma chased me out of her room.
From then on, I sort of think the rotten smell is the smell of death.
The Second time was when I was about 22-23. My parents and I were sleeping in a same bedroom then, separate beds. That night there was only my father and me at home, mom was working night shift.
All was well until my father began panting very loudly. Again the smell of rotten things came from his mouth. I freaked out and quickly shook my father hard in an attempt to wake him up. His eyes opened and looked at me, but somehow I could feel that this was not the same man I knew. I tell u, when our eyes met, I could feel the goosebumps on my skin! For some strange reasons, I didn't let go my grip and kept shouting for my father (notice it is \"for my father\" not \"at my father\"). That man who was looking at me was not my father and I was half wondering if he was going to do anything to me.
As soon as it appeared, the rotten smell just disappeared. Even though my father was still panting, the rotten smell was no longer coming out from his mouth. Slowly he panted less vigorously and stopped. When his eyes next met mine again, I somehow knew my own father was back. He patted my hand and said 没事了，睡觉。
Of cos I couldn't sleep! Of I knew my father fell asleep.i didn't get to see my mum until the following day evening and told her about it. She said father had told her and said that he would probably have died if not for me calling for him. She said he was having a dream and his adopted father came for him, wanting to bring him away from his family. He said he couldn't do anything and was just following his adopted father along until he heard someone shouting (that's me).
My father was quite healthy then, so this really came as a surprise. -
I didn’t smell anything from mil. But her lack of spirit certainly makes me worried. I kept having to remind myself to stop my 念。
When I look at my parents, I am glad to say they seem to have more years to come. A bit slower and frail but still full of life. -
Thanks insider for this meaningful thread. I have always enjoyed your posts and have used the wisdom to think through my problems time after time.
Are you able to share more on the relationship with our parents? Specifically, as an adult (educated, relatively successful and certainly at the age and have the capacity to raise own family), how much of our parents' instructions do we have to adhere to? The reason I ask is because increasingly I have been feeling that my parents tended to make suggestions in ways that if/when I didn't take up these suggestions, I was made to feel like I was an unfilial daughter.
Most times I adhered to all of their instructions. However lately, have been feeling parental pressure on issues that would potentially impact on my relationship with my very understanding and wonderful partner. I have considered parents' opinions as objectively as possible and to date, I cannot agree with their perspective. Do you have something to share that could shed any form of light?
Anyone else who has an opinion on this is also welcomed to share
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insider:
oh my! OT a bitImami:
[
Recently, when we were leaving her place, I thought she was tearing. :scared: dunno got see wrong or not.
Recently I sort of quite scared of my 'power' when I almost like quite accurately predicted the pass on of my dad and my father-in-law.
I just could sense their 阳气 depleting, from the way they talked as well as from the content that they talked about.
My sense was particularly accurate for my father in law when during one family dim sum lunch, he held my hands and thanked me for giving him three great grand kids.
After that lunch, I emailed my brother in law (my husband's brother) who is very close with me. I told him my feelings were quite bad and he better come home for his dad's coming birthday the following month (that he originally intended to skip coz of his busy overseas assignments). I warned him it could be his dad's last birthday but he brushed it off as I being sensitive.
He didn't return for the birthday and my father in law passed on about 2 months after his birthday...
So in a way, one can actually feel the Qi of an elderly and if you are 'sharp' enough, you can like 'predict' the 'approximate date'...
So, do continue to treat the old folks well!
you have that same power as that cat I saw in the news!
Just that that cat lives in a nursing home and can predict deaths down to several hours
he's so accurate to the point where if the nurses spot him sleeping on a patient, they will call the family
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7129952/Cat-predicts-50-deaths-in-RI-nursing-home.html
for your reading pleasure -
Happyducks,
Now I cant write long and will KIV your question. Hope others can chip in here about their thoughts.
Joule and Imami
Maybe we can touch a bit about Death here.
My question to all is:
Have you ever asked your parent/s whether they wanna be ‘rescued’ at all cost in times of their life emergencies or they don’t mind to go without massive rescue efforts or have your parent/s given you their ‘permission’ to ‘go’ (by perhaps removing all their life supporting machines) if situation is a ‘gone case’ at that point in time?
If they have not ‘signaled’ so, then what’s your take in such situation, as in ‘to save or not to save’?
This is my latest question from one of my close friends whom mum is in critical condition and the doc is asking her for ‘direction’… -
insider:
I dun know about my parents......but I have already stated clearly to my hubby, if it is a 'gone case' situation, dun sustain, just let me go.Happyducks,
Now I cant write long and will KIV your question. Hope others can chip in here about their thoughts.
Joule and Imami
Maybe we can touch a bit about Death here.
My question to all is:
Have you ever asked your parent/s whether they wanna be 'rescued' at all cost in times of their life emergencies or they don't mind to go without massive rescue efforts or have your parent/s given you their 'permission' to 'go' (by perhaps removing all their life supporting machines) if situation is a 'gone case' at that point in time?
If they have not 'signaled' so, then what's your take in such situation, as in 'to save or not to save'?
This is my latest question from one of my close friends whom mum is in critical condition and the doc is asking her for 'direction'...
In fact, today we went qingming......hubby was suggesting booking a 'place' near his dad's so that easier for our kids next time. I told him I actually dun need any, but can my ashes be released at sea or somewhere? MIL looked at me :scared: I must have scared her
:rotflmao:
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insider:
This brings back what I had gone through with my mom.Happyducks,
Now I cant write long and will KIV your question. Hope others can chip in here about their thoughts.
Joule and Imami
Maybe we can touch a bit about Death here.
My question to all is:
Have you ever asked your parent/s whether they wanna be 'rescued' at all cost in times of their life emergencies or they don't mind to go without massive rescue efforts or have your parent/s given you their 'permission' to 'go' (by perhaps removing all their life supporting machines) if situation is a 'gone case' at that point in time?
If they have not 'signaled' so, then what's your take in such situation, as in 'to save or not to save'?
This is my latest question from one of my close friends whom mum is in critical condition and the doc is asking her for 'direction'...
She had cancer, and throughout that period, I tried so hard to sustain her, through every way that I knew. She wasn't ready to go and we were all not ready to let her go too.
I was very close to my mom. Maybe because I tried so hard to help her, I was kind of \"connected\" to her in some ways. Certain dreams, certain experiences, kind of left me bewildered at times. For instance, there was one night that I woke up from sleep, and had such a terrible backache - probably the type that she was experiencing on some nights. It only went away after I prayed. Asked her the next day how was her sleep the night before, she replied that she was woken up by a bad backache. I kept mum about what happened to me the night before, not wanting to cause her more worry.
One day before she passed away, I was in a very bad state, emotionally. I can't describe what feeling that was. It was like depression, anxiety, panic and the feeling of being oppressed all thrown in together.. I felt terrible. A chanting CD that was supposed to bring peace just made me feel the opposite. Called a friend and she brought me to a temple. I finally prayed silently that if her wish was to go, then she may go..I did know that towards the end, she had been saying that she couldn't take it anymore. However, in my heart, I really wanted her to see my DD grow up a bit more (DD was just 2 months old). She is my mom's only grand-daughter.
Maybe it was the prayer, or maybe it was just coincidental, my mom passed away the next day. Although it was still a bit sudden, I was at peace when she finally passed on. In a way, my prayer for her was for her wish to be granted. I thought that this must have been her wish. -
insider:
I hv not asked my parents about this. And I hope I would not be put into this position. As humans, our lives will end one day. But pls don't put me in a position where I need to choose-to sustain or not, my parent's lives. I think it is very cruel on me. In real life situation, I don't get the final say although I can influence. I hv two elder bros and what they say carry a lot of weight, ESP eldest bro (since he is the eldest, most educated and the one with the most $$$ reserves).
My question to all is:
Have you ever asked your parent/s whether they wanna be 'rescued' at all cost in times of their life emergencies or they don't mind to go without massive rescue efforts or have your parent/s given you their 'permission' to 'go' (by perhaps removing all their life supporting machines) if situation is a 'gone case' at that point in time?
If they have not 'signaled' so, then what's your take in such situation, as in 'to save or not to save'?
This is my latest question from one of my close friends whom mum is in critical condition and the doc is asking her for 'direction'...
My respond will be solely on what i think and feel, not considering my brothers' thinking. My actions/ decisions will largely depend on the wishes of the one In discussion - he/she wants to live on or not? If he/she wants, I think I will tend to 尽力, depleting my means, To sustain a loved one's life.
If one doesn't want to be sustained, I would take into one's wishes. However, I would still hang on (to sustain) for as long as I could financially and emotionally. Because it is not just for this person whom I am trying to sustain, but also for myself - whether I am ready to let go.
for a not very balanced and yet very emo person, I find it hard to draw a line between 尽力 and 尽命, and 真孝 and 愚孝 . I need to think very hard and very long. :sad:
If we are talking about another person (who needs to consider to sustain or not), I think the intention of pulling the plug is very important. Is it truly because it is really for one's own good (don't wish to see one suffer anymore) or other selfish reasons. -
See, this time already I am still up. Insider’s qn Put me in tears. The tap just kept flowing, no stop. Tomorrow sure wake up with goldfish eyes.
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